If you are able to read my profile , you will plainly see some of the reasons I feel so desperately lonely . I am in severe chronic pain which limits my every movement and breath . I live with a man who calls me his fiance but I'm not sure he really knows how to love a woman . Even when we are in the same house i feel ignored despite my trying to discuss anything with him . I know my physical condition was not what he signed on for a few years ago when we met . I have had Chronic Pain my entire life but it in way did it limit me the way it does now . I moved across the state to live with the only person who could take me in during a cruel divorce, my younger sister . I am unable to live on my own . It was such a nightmare , living in a tiny duplex while her and her husband fought like cats and dogs . It was like reliving my horrendous childhood when my parents would actually beat on each other day and night . The mere sound of screaming makes me terrified and tremble . I ended up holed up in my room day & night like a prisoner to avoid their drama . I took a leap of faith and joined a dating service, meeting the man I live with now . Despite his own Chronic Pain , he refuses to rarely discuss it , calls me a crybaby and says I am always feeling sorry for myself and am a spoled brat . There are more disorders in my frail body that I don't want to bore you with but I did fall flat on my back this past Nov ., fracturing my low back . Although surgery took care of the frax . it left me with many serious complications , one of which I am considering very invasive , risky and expensive surgery . I don't drive due to mind- numbing PTSD from a near death car crash many , many years ago that crushed my entire left side , so I am not able to get out on my own even if I owned a car . I was unable to work at all since then which stung since I had a great paying job with many opportunities  that I adored. I live far out in the country now after a life in FL. in a very cold , limiting state and I despise it here . All I want is a few friends to commiserate with who will help me through this worst time of my life . I crave to share and to give back . I am a very understanding woman who is very sensitive who loves to reach out and help console others' who may need a shoulder . I'm an open book , liberal thinking and don't have to continuously dwell on the bad  If you also need companionship I will be a loyal and private friend . I need you more then you can imagine . I feel like I am dying inside and getting worse daily . Please message me or better yet , friend me .. I hate to beg but that is what I am plainly doing !