Well I guess this is a good and safe place to vent again. I’m not sure why I am so depressed, sad and feeling hopeless. It just seems the golden years ain’t so golden. I have been in Florida taking care of my 87 year old mom who is an amputee and has other serious medical issues. I’m going back to California hopefully in another 2 weeks once I secure her a full time live in aide. Been here since sept 6 when I took over for my sister. The problem is I have serious medical issues also multiple myeloma a form of cancer. I am exhausted. I have painted for her and done other fix ups in her condo have to set up a bedroom for her live in. Take care of her finances. She is appreciative but expects everything done in a minute if she brings up an issue. I also have to take care of my stuff in California where we have 2 adult children under or roof and 3 grandkids. The responsibility seems overwhelming right now. My mom is a depressed and anxiety ridden person and she is wearing off on me. So even going home is no picnic and when I get home I have to schedule full hip replacement surgery for myself. I can’t work due to the cancer and worry all the time about medical bills and going bankrupt if the cancer gets worse. I am on social security and so is my wife so we don’t have a big income and of course through the years we didn’t save enough for retirement for several reasons and despite all I do for family , I feel like a big failure in life. It is a hard feeling to deal with everyday. I know there are many people in worse financial and medical situations than me, but it just seems like I don’t know what . I wish I could run away somewhere but that only solves the physical part not the emotional.