Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I am so depressed. I feel so lonely all the time. Nobody really cares. Nobody bothers even talking to me. I feel so broken all the time. I am sick and tired of feeling like this. I message someone, and they don't even bother messaging me back. It hurts. I feel worthless.
I feel like i'll never amount to anything in my life. I dropped out of school when i was 17, went back when i was 18, dropped out again, went back again, then dropped out for the final time. I have never had a job, not even a part time one. I feel like i will never get one either. I feel like im going to fail at life, or that i already am failing at life. It sucks.
I am so sick of everything. Every single night/day, all i think about is kiling myself. Just to escape everything. ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT. I feel like im done with everything. But i cant kill myself, because i have a two year old, that i dont even take care of. I just could never do that to him though. I love him. despite the fact that i love him, i still have these suicidal thoughts, EVERY SINGLE DAY.
I cant deal with them anymore. I cant deal with anything anymore. Im such a waste. I have no friends, im alone, and its killing me.
I feel like i'll never amount to anything in my life. I dropped out of school when i was 17, went back when i was 18, dropped out again, went back again, then dropped out for the final time. I have never had a job, not even a part time one. I feel like i will never get one either. I feel like im going to fail at life, or that i already am failing at life. It sucks.
I am so sick of everything. Every single night/day, all i think about is kiling myself. Just to escape everything. ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT. I feel like im done with everything. But i cant kill myself, because i have a two year old, that i dont even take care of. I just could never do that to him though. I love him. despite the fact that i love him, i still have these suicidal thoughts, EVERY SINGLE DAY.
I cant deal with them anymore. I cant deal with anything anymore. Im such a waste. I have no friends, im alone, and its killing me.
I'm going to respond to each of your paragraphs in hopes of helping you feel a little better, I hope. Something you said in the first line made me think of a song, so I'm going to send you a second reply, after I go find that song, okay?
Secondly, I know what you mean about feeling sick and tired of being sick and tired. It gets old very quickly. I was not aware that you have sent messages to people and haven't received a response. I find that hard to believe, at least on this board, however, if you message me, I will respond if I'm on which is usually in the afternoons until around 6 or 7 California time.
Thirdly, I don't think there is anyone who has depression or hurts like hell all the time, that doesn't THINK about ending it all but we are, for the most part, just asking for help because we are at our wits end. You will get a job. Have you taken the test that they give when you don't graduate? I can't think of the name of it, I'm having a Fibromyalgia Fog Day. So forgive me. And you can get a job. They are out there. It may not be what you want right away but sit down and write out your skills and what you think you would be good at and enjoy. Then do some research on the companies that you would like to work for, and go from there. They want to know that you know as much about their company, as they want to know about you.
#4. That is a great reason for wanting to stick around and get your life together, that wonderful 2 year old that you have. Sure you are going to have those suicidal thoughts but as I always say like a broken record, just keep them at thoughts when the feeling comes up. You can deal, and you will. You just need to take it a step at a time and quit calling yourself a waste. You do have friends, right here at DS, maybe we cant see you, but that doesn't mean we can't care about you and support you. You are not alone. So while you read this, I'm going to go find that song for you. It fits you to a T. Message me anytime, and I WILL answer back!!!!
If not, will you look into at least some one on one therapy? Even if you can't pay, there are places that will provide counseling at no charge, mainly churches, you don't have to be a member with most of them either. You can call and just ask if they have someone in their parish
that does counseling. Some places have free clinics as well.
You sound totally overwhelmed and the knot at the end of your rope appears to be slipping pretty badly:(:(
There is one thing in your favor, you won't kill yourself for the sake of
your son....that's something you can build on.
There are a lot of people that have been in the your shoes, some still are but haven't given up...you don't have to either.
I have a lot of the dx's that you have, to include the PTSD, the only big difference is that I'm more than old enough to be your grandmother.
I'm so very sorry you're life is such a mess right now, as young as you are, there should be some level of happiness.
Weekends are slow on almost all the boards here on DS so hang
on....I'm sure the regulars will be showing up and offering more concrete advice than I know of.
All I can say is, you may be alone in your "real" world, but there are some wonderful people here that know exactly how you're feeling
and will try to help you to reclaim your life.
I hope your holding on for your son will help you find ways to get
help....things don't have to stay this way...you're stronger than you can see at the moment, you just need someone to guide you out of that black pit.
((((((((((((gentle hugs)))))))))))
I found the song. Took me longer then I planned because I couldn't find it on our play list and forgot what day I added it. This isn't the one I wanted but provides all the words for you. and that is something I didn't mention that noodle did and that was therapy. If you can afford it go for it, and if you can't some places go on a sliding scale, and other places will help you, sometimes it just takes some looking and calling around. Here is the song for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gOjpQRMZB8&feature=colike
I am going off of DS in a couple of minutes but if you want to message me tomorrow I will be on about 3 until about 7, okay? I won't ignore your message, I promise. We all know what rejection feels like and it sucks.