We don't "make" others do anything

People have issues, They have free will. They make choices.


Your job is not to be trying to control him, his behavior, or be his psychiatrist.

Your job is to work on your own self and build yourself up instead of looking for someone else to build you up.

Try looking into some info on codependency and see if it fits for you.

And we all have to move on. We don't stop because we can't stop.

The only question is what choices you're going to make going forward.

I know we can only control ourselves and our emotions, but this is just so painful and I don't know what more to do to help myself feel better and stop giving him more chances to hurt my feelings. It's so difficult to leave when there's a child in the mix and she is why I am still with him. I know it shouldn't be like that, but I don't want to fight over another child. I don't want to fight with or over anything cause in my eyes fighting is a waste of time and every that you can utilize loving people and animals unconditionally. That's why theres so much crime and hatred in the world right now. God is Love and we should all follow in His foot steps or alongside His Only Begotten Son, Jesus! Hope this makes sense. I love with my while heart everyone equally whether you're family or not til u do me wrong a few times and then you won't be around me much or be trusted much at least. I forgive you the first time or two but 3 or 4 times, No Way! You're out of luck! Sorry just really sensitive and emotionally spiritual.

Time and energy was supposed to be what it saud! Oops sorry again.

Jesus Christ fought against injustice and still found the time and energy to love people unconditionally. Maybe you should follow in those footsteps.

What you are really saying is that you are afraid to fight. Afraid of the consequences of doing what is right for you and your child.

RE: forgiving. Forgiving a "narc" is one thing. Allowing him to remain in your life is entirely another thing.

Ditto to corra_belle.

And speaking AS someone's daughter, I wouldn't like it very much if my mother used me as excuse for her actions, good or bad.

This is on YOU.

Keep in mind that your are setting an example for her with every thought you think and every move you make.

It's not your fault for his abusive behavior. It isn't healthy for you or your daughter to be exposed to any kind of abusive behavior. Neither of you deserve to be treated that way. He's not going to change, in fact it may get worse. It is your choice to do what is the right thing for you and your daughter.

bridgie101, do you mean I can't control other or his emotions? I can control mine fairly well overall, but his, I know I can't. I don't have that power, he does or should. I don't blow up and throw things or try to throw punches into the wall in the middle of a fight. I don't go slamming doors and threatening to leave and never come back in the middle of a fight like he does/has. The one thing I do give him a lil bit of credit for is that he has never hit me, pulled my hair or pushed me down the stairs like my ex husband has/did 20+ years ago. If he ever did that, I would leave in a heartbeat. I understand where you're coming from for the most part, but let me remind you, you do not know all that I have been thru and what I can and cannot handle. I know our daughter doesn't deserve to see his behavior at all, but he hasn't put her in jeopardy as much as it sounds by what I have said in any of my posts. She has seen and heard me reacting less and less to his behaviors. Its a lot more calmer then from what I've indulged. I just feel lonely as you've said at times and it gets to me at random instances. The posts are usually at those times when I'm trying to work through them, that's all. However, thank you for your concern and understanding. Have a great rest of your week~!

You said it's impossible to leave. is there a crisis center where you live that you can go to?