Exactly. You need to shut down your negative thoughts and you need to take care of YOU> You said that people have always depended on you and right now they can't. How about you depending on them for a change? It goes both ways in life. If they all know what you are dealing with, then they should be more then happy to help you out and do whatever they can to help you get through this. You can shut your thoughts down for a couple of days and give yourself a break, all you have to do is ask and realize you have nothing to feel guilty about nor should you feel any shame. Hugs.

What gramy said is right on.

So many women spend all their time giving to others, they feel guilty and strange when they need help.

But good relationships are two-way streets. Sometimes letting others care for us can be a real gift to them, as it lets them show their love in a different way. Be patient with yourself until you are better.

I read in your "About Me" that you have a doctor's appointment coming up, so hopefully that will help you get back on track.

In the meantime, welcome to DS! And feel free to vent here, or ask questions or anything. We can relate to how you feel. :)

{{{hugs}}}

OMGoodness, I Mose I am in the same situation. The shame and guilt seem to make my depression worst. We just need some time to get ourselves together. I need to do me. You do You. NO SHAME NO GUILT.

Thank you all so much it is really good to know that these posts are read. One thing you all did by responding to me is to make me realize that I need to respond in some way to every post I read. That will be an affirmation That I have taken the time to read their thoughts, & that what they are feeling is very real to them & it hurts.But most of someone hears them. Thank you all for your support. Your thoughts are all very rational & remind me I know all those things you said. I just need it pounded into my head once in a while

For so many years I was taking care of someone.
At the time I gave of myself freely because I loved completely.
I gave any sense of self up.
I was daughter, wife, mother, friend, girlfriend, grandmother, nurse, caretaker, rescuer.
About 40 yrs shoving me in a bottom drawer.
It didn't 't matter if I was hurt, rejected, abandoned, bated.....
I guess I figured if I gave enough I would be loved back as I loved them.

I am alone now.
Secluded by choice.
Afraid to become close to anyone....tho I long for friends.

Now I am the one who needs caring for as my health betrays me.
As my emotions cripple me.
But anyone who ever cared enough is gone.

So I 've become somewhat selfish.
My birds come first......then maybe me if it 's possible.
But I have trust issues too.
Believing someones offer of help is hard for me.
Too many promises have been made in the heat of a moment.
Then forgotten as time passed.

My birds are my world.
Tho I am sometimes tempted to reach out to a lost family
member...I have to stop as I know I am not welcome.
But I still have a problem giving to myself.
I think that the birds need this or that.....I can do without.
Even tho my desires are somewhat simple....books, a warm sweater,
a table for my writing & art.....a hug.
My most selfish want /desire is a bottle of "Beautiful " lotion by
Estee Lauder! I LOVE that scent!
My son used to give me a bottle each Christmas...plus a bottle of the perfume every other year. He even remembered I didn't 't like the spray scent!

You can only ignore your own needs for so long I suppose.
You need to love yourself enough to give to yourself. Care for yourself.
Blessings.....