Dont give up. I am bipolar too and I know how hard it is to carry on when we are depressed. It goes a bit beyond depression with those with bipolar. I know your pain well. But you do know that with bipolar...the pain will end as quickly as it came. Could be in an hour for all we know. Good days are ahead of you. Pay attention to patterns. Seek help from your doc when you get this low. There are meds they can add to hopefully help you. If you dont get any answers with your doc...maybe seek IP help. Hugs to you and I hope that you feel better soon.

What do you think God would want you to do to serve? make the most out of your life? help others?
I don't think death is the answer, you need to start living instead. I really don't think God would want you die.

My take on this, from personal experience, is that you are now READY to LIVE! If you are at absolute zero rock bottm, and totally out of answers, You now know it all. Now, this is gonna be hard to see, but it is what you learn AFTER you know it all that will shine up your life beyond what you can possibly see right now. Two things, just to start: Breathe in, and then breath out. And just two days to do it: Today, and Tomorrow. Peace! OUT!

This hot weather is messing with my meds. Seraquil can mess with tempurature control system that can make you sick when the tempature gets hot. I can`t remember the last day I got out of the trailor.Ilive in the trailor from hoardig hell. My brother takes about 70% of my tralor space. Checking into a mental hospital would be like a vacation.

I am bipolar too, and have felt suicidal many times. The TV is hard on my brain too. And I understand about living in a small cramped space with another person, I've been there. But before you leave the planet, try a few things:

Turn off the TV and read a good book, something good for your brain like The Four Agreements or something by Thich Nhat Hahn or You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay or something by Ernest Holmes. The Power of Now is a great book too.

Take the book outside to read. Sit in the shade or wear sunscreen and a big hat or use an umbrella, but get outside, it will actually help your brain to function better.

Whenever you have a positive thought or someone else says something kind or appreciative to you, write it down. Then when you feel crummy and can't remember anything good you can go back and read your list. Feels silly, but it helps.

Remind yourself that your brain is just on a bad trip and know that it will pass.

If you really want to wallow, do it with gusto! Surround yourself with pillows and stuffed animals, eat chocolate or ice cream or whatever your favorite bummer day food is, don't just weep quietly, howl! Let it out. Watch an old movie, something from when they were all melodramatic. Listen to sad, sappy music. You get the idea. If you do all this stuff, you will either enjoy the wallow and feel a little better or get a good laugh at yourself.

This is a great one: Find a way to help someone, not looking to get anything out of it but to know you did something good.

OK, that's all I can think of at the moment, hope something here helps.

dont give up, try something different. move from the tv cause thats depressing in its self. have you considered going to a church and getting to know Jesus. have you thought of volunteering some of your precious time to oyhers, do something nice for you you deserve to be loved cared for and valued as a human being. we put here on earth for a purpose and a destiny and that treasure is hiddeni side you it needs to be found and activated. I suffer really bad boutes of depression and i read sing go for lobg walks, talk to God, or help others in some way. it helps to get me from my own darkness and look out and not within, as somethimes within me is a lot of pain.but I give it to God and believe he is with me healing those places that no human can reach. do you have a friend you can confide in, please dont give up, you have so much beauty within waiting to be birthed. Much love. ps God sent Jesus to heal the broken hearted and to set the captives free, and he left us a book as a guide to truth and freedom. you are the apple of His eye. we may have had a difficult beginning but we can have a beautiful finish. Love Hope and Peace beyond our own understanding I pray over you today.

I went to bed late sunday and woke about 3:00 pm. I really need to spend some time in a mental hospital. I don`t want the drama of a moderate overdose of meds and beer. The cops the amulance the fire truck. I definitly won`t let the cops give me a ride. Twice they handcuffed me behind my back and the Sterling Heights police have hardened plastic back seat. I would choose the ambulance over a police car. I know a mental hospital in Oakland County.. Its in Auburn Hills. Maybe I can fill a bottle of Xanax,Seraquil,and abien. Tell them I am suicidal and tell them I would take this bottle of pills if they need proof.

I have lost the will to live yet I don`t die. From Heath Ledger to Brittany Murphy.I take about the same drugs as they did but I am still here living in the trailer from hoarders HELL !!!!!!!