There are too many negative outlooks for them to all be all be likely sincere, so I guess it's your brain. Psychotherapy helps with that, specifically, cognitive behavioral therapy having the best results, if you follow through. And if you're looking for a guy, maybe you should go to places where your ideal person would go: a bar, a tour, etc. If you have a social worker, they can help you find places--they know people, from helping people like you all the time. If you're disabled, they'll even pay for half your rent... As for money, have you considered going into real estate? You need to be social, ambitious, and meticulous, but it doesn't take long, and you might be able to get into the habit of it, like any therapy.

What's 175k worth to you? lol

I would be happy if I had 175,000 a year, I could live comfortably on that. I just dont enjoy anything anymore either, all I want to do is stay home.

Maybe moving into a new apartment will help get change started. Once I got ECT, I noticed I was still getting sad over the littlest things. It seems that when you're always aching and heavy, crying is the go-to thing, every day. I had to work really hard at it, though, to become the happy person I am today. Inspiring music and concepts help, as does change, daily activity, and organization.

You know I'm pretty much the same way, at least in the looks department. And the making peanuts part.

I feel a little hypocritical saying this, but I mean it...you won't meet anyone staying at home. Men will not come to your door (I know, I've been waiting for one to come knocking for years, ha!). I feel that you're a beautiful person on the inside (and I'm willing to bet you are on the outside as well, even if you can't see it). If you get out there and be yourself, people will be attracted to that. Speaking from experience, don't go out there with a bad attitude, you'll end up unintentionally repelling people because they'll think you're pushing everyone away. When I'm out and I'm myself and having a good time, I talk to far more people than when I go and close myself off, even if I don't mean to.

I know how to do this stuff, I just can't apply it in my own life. But I hope you'll give it a try. If nothing else, with your current struggles, you deserve to get out and have fun.

all those negative emotions you are feeling come from depreshion ....you need to look after that ...I know that when I am more dressed ..and I look in the merrier I think I am ugly but when I am feeling less depresed I am surprised to find I don't look bad at all ...depreshion couloirs everything in our lives so we see everything through these depresed eyes and depresed feelings ...so what you are seeing and feeling is not the truth ..it is your desease ..you are realy seeing ....and it rocks havoc in your life making your life ...becom what it projects ..so it becomes a vicious circle ....how do you get out of ..that ....you start by getting all the help you can get .....than ..you ...right things Dowen that are ..going around in your hers ...just get it out .....everything bad that has ever happened to has to come out ...and not just on paper but to a counclor or phicritrist ........than you realy need to live one day at a time ....and every day is a new bigin ing ......let the past go ..it is already gone ....and can't be changed ........don't worry about the future because you never know what is around that corner .......and if your head is to bissey ..you might miss it ............live in the now ..in the day ...today ..one day at a time ..and look for all the good you can find ..no mater how small and embreas it ....stay with it for ..a bit ...the more positive energy you can colect ..and bring into you ...the better ...darkness can't live in the light ....dark energy can't live in ...can stay in ..good energy ....so that's what I do ..and it helps ...take care ..God bless ...