you said you have hope. never let your grip slip from that. i know it may sound rationally stupid, but in this situation it's one of the most solid thing you can cling on to.

once you lose that last bit of hope, you lose what's left of your humanity.
and cry, cry a lot. i have this wall of ice inside me that prevents me to let it all out and it's a real struggle.

words coming from a guy who tried to suicide by overdosing 2 days ago but was frozen by that small small feeling of hope. keep it close, man.

the other day i almost lost it, my wife and i were texting, well i text and she hardly replies and i was frustrated and low from it and texted a friend i wanted to die, he called the police on me and i did the whole hospital bit, my friend didnt buy it when i said im calmed down and didnt feel like that anymore, but sometimes my hope doesnt seem enough

your reply reminds me a lot of a situation that occurred to me recently, but without the police involved. i REALLY know the frustration when a loved one plays ghost like this. makes you feel both frustrated, little and insulted, isn't it? you just can't realize anymore, and sometimes you might blame yourself for it... and there is pretty much nothing you can do about it... or at least, that's my view. i wish i had a solution for that, trust me, i really do.

ive lost 30 pounds in no time over this, i dont even care to watch the same things we used to watch, today she told me how shes finishing up a show we were watching together, everything hurts, even the fact that this might not be affecting her as badly as i would think it is, it hurts when she seems to be trying to block out the good we had, or the fact that she might miss me, its killing me that we cant work this out, at least not yet, i have no clue, its killing me that seeing a damn toyota christmas commercial makes me miss her and cry, i almost hate seeing the chrismas tree up because we used to decorate it every month for every holiday

do you think she knows 100% the way you feel about it? does she entirely know the struggle you are facing? or is she blocking that much

i honestly dont know and the hell if ill ask her, might just piss her off, shes said she knows how bad this is for me, but i dont think she really gets it, im not sure

she mostly replies sorry to me, she thiks i read too much into her talking to me and such

i am afraid you have no choice but to cling on to that last bit of hope (for what it's worth and i know it) and bite the bullet. i admit i would be irritated to the extreme in this situation, if i was in your shoes. cold comfort: i feel your pain.

thank you, im just so lost is all and it does not help my depression at all

just don't keep it inside. let it out. and if you have no one to talk with about this matter, i can spare an ear.

If you have problems you always will in the future

You want more, this is great, a hallmark of someone who wants to build rather than tear down…and most likely the reason you are still with us! You are meant for more! Hope is important, you have it, get yourself together and then worry about reconciliation. Talk to your ex, keep her in your life and work toward getting yourself under control.

You know what went wrong, work with it and make it better. I sympathize, it is a great deal to manage, but at least you have hope where others have none and are alone! Pray with me:

Jesus, hear this man’s prayer, he’s in pain, he’s alone and fighting evil…have mercy on him and restore his marriage…restore him Jesus..take away his depression and whatever caused the splinter in his marriage. Give them what they need to rebuild their marriage within your kingdom! Amen. I will continue to pray for you my friend, talk to your pastor, I’m sure he’ll have a way to help you! All is not lost.

the closer we get to Christmas the harder it is for me, the movies on tv or shows, even the commercials are hard, i cry at times and feel like human garbage, more so when i think of what ive done or its pointed out to me, i cry and wish i was able to turn it around from the first bad thing i did, my wife is the greatest thing to ever happen to me, shes my better half, my much better half.

im not a horrible man, im a good man thats done horrible things, but everyday of my life since shes been gone i feel like i should be punished for all this, i just dont want that punishment being losing her