I have become at this point really aware of energy and mood in people. I am finally aware that I am more radically affected by others' moods than previously thought. This was proven to me finally when one night at group therapy something very odd happened. I became suddenly extremely low for some weird reason. Then, a woman across the room started talking-she was pretending to be fine then she exploded. I was picking up on her before anyone knew it. I felt her from across the room.

I now understand the cause of my depression. It is not totally originating with me. I will absorb what is around me even if I can't see it or have no proof of it.

This morning, I woke up and was so enjoying my morning. Had a really good breakfast and coffee-and then I picked up the phone. This friend of mine ostensibly called to see how I was doing as holidays are really difficult, and then she launched into this tirade. This is about the third time now that this has happened where she starts screaming and crying and talking senselessly; she is irate at everyone and everyone owes her something. Instead of just sitting in it like I usually do, I recognized that I was becoming agitated and ended the call. It made me aware that we can go from content to miserable in a matter of minutes. I have been cleaning my life out like death wielding a sickle these days, and when I sense powerful enough negativity I am the H*** OUT! Lately I have been doing things to raise my consciousness and focus on the good, listening to motivational talks, and I realize now the seriousness of with whom you spend your time. One of the primary things they say is to take stock of the people in your immediate circle and weigh the effect they have on your life. She texted me later to apologize for getting upset, but this is her habit now. I didn't answer back because I am not sure how I feel and what I think.