Ahh goodness... this is a very complex topic.

First of all, there are too many variables. I don't believe you can classify all suicides as being either selfish or not.

And this is just my opinion, based upon my personal experiences with suicide.

My father took his life when I was a child. It's impacted my life in ways some people could never even imagine. But what I have grown to accept and understand is that he was ill, and sadly untreated. But the man (father and husband) he saw in himself was a failure who prevented his family from having a 'better' life. I believe he truly felt we'd all be better off without him. I imagine he couldn't see past the anguish. Some days I understand it, some days I am enraged.

I also have a friend who has suffered with serious chronic back pain for five years, even after having surgery. She has been confined to her bed, some days can't even move. She can't work, lives with her mom because she can't properly care for her children... her mother has to care for her and her kids. They fight all the time because her mother is just exhausted, and my friend feels like she's nothing but a burden. She attempted suicide last summer, and though I am grateful she is alive and with me today, it kills me to see how she suffers.

I wish I could give a clearer answer to your question, but I don't see that there is one.

Most people view suicide as a selfish act but I think otherwise. You can't judge a depressed person until you walk a mile in their shoes. I think suicide is an act of desperation because people who attempt it feel there doesn't appear to be any other options or any more hope left. When a person tries to kill themselves, they usually don't realize how much they would actually hurt their family by doing that, so how is that selfish? People usually attempt suicide only because they want the pain to end and they almost never have the intention of hurting anyone in doing so. Where's the selfishness involved? I think it's just a lot of negative and incorrect stigma because the bible says that it is selfish. People usually don't acknowledge the other sides of the story when they claim suicide is a selfish act. If a person's reason for attempting to kill themselves is solely to hurt someone, then that is selfish but I believe that the majority of cases of attempting suicide are not done for selfish reasons.

However, I believe suicide is not the best thing to do because we all have family and friends that love us and they would be completely devastated by our death. That is the only reason I've choosen life over death, to avoid hurting my family. Suicide is also not the best thing to do because it is not true that all hope is gone and that there aren't any other ways to end our pain and problems. Those are just horrible lies that depression tells us. Depression is a very convincing illness, but it tells us false lies nonetheless.

If you are considering suicide, please don't try it and seek help. Tell a mental health professional that you're feeling this way. There are other options besides suicide. Your family and friends love you so much and their hearts would be completely shattered into billions of pieces if you died. They would never recover. If you don't believe that they would be affected in such a negative fashion, please read "The Grieving Never Ends." It is a true story that I read in my college English class about the negative impact a suicide has on people's family, and reading this story has helped strengthen my reason for being alive and I hope it will do the exact same for you. I'm warning you, though that "The Grieving Never Ends" was a TRIGGER for me. I almost burst out crying in class while reading it:
http://articles.latimes.com/1996-06-12/news/ls-14031_1_suicide

There is much more on my opinion on whether suicide is selfish or not that I will not discuss because those reasons are best not mentioned in order to avoid triggering someone.

I hope you feel better soon. Take care. Many big, loving hugs to you

Sincerely,

Megan Elizabeth

I personally think that whether or not suicide is a selfish act is irrelevant. Value judgments like that are utterly useless, especially to the person in the throes of deciding to answer this question with either action or inaction.

Not to mention depression causes us to feel enough guilt as it is. It can be so ineffective to point out to someone overwhelmed by and resentful of all the guilt they already can't help but feel that they'd be causing someone even more grief. I really wish people would refrain from saying things like that.

The more important issue is how illogical suicide is. Someone wants peace, so they end their existence. That isn't peace. There is no appreciation or final calm. Just nothing. The only absolute guarantee of finding peace and happiness again is to continue living. This is not a value judgment, nor is it an opinion. It's literally an objective truth. Death is the final punctuation in a miserable sentence with no hope for the future, as there is no future. Choosing to continue living from one second to the next is the only way to find happiness again. It's a fact.

After losing a very loved one I thought it was very selfish. I was so angry as he was my true love and save him before. Since then, I understand and don't believe it's a selfish act. Life is so difficult.

I do want to say, those he left will never ever be the same (HUGE understatement). I am not happy with my life by all means but when I think about giving up, I remember those I would hurt. I've been through so much with losing him to suicide and know others. It affects so many although the thought is such an easy one if this makes sense?

~ Huge Hugs, Strength, and Peace ~

I am still a 'work in progress' when it comes to having an opinion on this. I think if someone has talked openly with loved ones and everyone involved about the suicidal feelings and it is all honest and not hidden I suppose it would be how the people involved with the situation perceive it to be.

I have no definite thoughts on this right now as I am still developing my opinions.

Gentle ((hugs))
Patricia.