This may be hard to do but in spite of everything she's been through I think it's time to show her that there are still things she needs to do to prepare her for her future and one of those things is going to school. Yes she needs the structure and something "normal" in her life during this time when nothing seems normal to her. She needs to carry on functioning as best as she can, even if she struggles with it. I was very depressed growing up. I had unresolved child abuse issues, including sexual abuse, from when I was very young. I was often suicidal. I had friends like your daughter. I was not getting any help for any of it----no therapy, no medication. But I went to school every day and graduated from high school and went on the college.

It's important for her to do as much as she can for many reasons. One of them is self esteem. Having nothing to do all day would just leave her too much time to think about everything that has happened.

Let us know what you decide.

I'd like to also add that I made the mistake with my son of not making him do things because I felt sorry for him for things he had been through. I realize now what a mistake we made.

Hi, I usually post in the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome forum of DS but pop in here to read. I haven't posted here yet to introduce myself but read your post & had to write to you. My daughter & her two children, 18 & 14, live with me. My granddaughter is dealing with depression, it runs in the family. I have been on anti-depressants for years, our brains just don't make the chemicals they should. My daughter is also on them so it was really no surprise that Emily became depressed when she turned 12, she has been on an anti-depressant for a while. About 10 days ago she confessed that she was planning on killing herself, she hated school & was tired of being bullied. Ending up in the ER that night was the best thing we did for ourselves because having her evaluated gave us a little hope. She talked to a therapist who helped her & she signed a contract that she would not hurt herself until she saw her counselor in three days time. She saw her GP who upped her anti-depressant, then she saw her counselor who helped her quite a bit but both her GP & her counselor thought she should stay in school, that she needed the structure & friends but she hated it so much that she was just depressed beyond consoling. Her Mom talked to the vice principal of the school & they came up with a plan for Emily to go to school in the morning & then homeschool in the afternoon. She goes to school 3 & 1/2 hours at school & then 3 hours at home. Emily is doing much better so far, she loves the homeschool & seems to be able to deal well with going to school each morning. My daughter has homeschooled her son, he is a heart patient, & he is a senior this year. Emily was added to the homeschool on line & says her classed are very interesting & she enjoys them, big difference. So we will see how it goes. Just wanted to give you a different option. I hope your daughter finds her way through this, it is what I had to do with medication & therapy I have made progress or I should say I found my way through it when I was young. I am hoping the same for my granddaughter. There is life after depression so keep your spirits up & take care of yourself, your daughter will need you for a while. Come here often & read & post so people can help you & support you. Hugs, Denise

I agree,the structure is good for her.It has been a fight to go to school since 2nd grade,5years, and it is no better.The begging,pleading,panic attacks,calls from the school are just exhausting.Then I think how much is too much? If it causes her such distress is it worth it? We hear on the news all the time about these kids who decided to end it because it was too much for them to handle.No she is not being bullied,but being in middle school it is pretty much inevitable.Like I said she has friends,has never had a problem making friends.She is so convinced that her life is so bad why bother.She is tired of feeling bad.I am looking into an alternative school,but,I know from one of her therapists that the kids there are sometimes very violent,have all kinds if behavioral issues so I am not sure that would be best for her.its a no win situation.

A good homeschooling situation might be a good option. It seems like that would provide a way to go to school and have closer friendships with a few people and not as much stress as regular school.

By that I mean the possibility of a group home schooling situation where different parents take turns doing homeschooling. my cousin did that with one of her sons and it went well.

My son is in an alternative school and is doing very well there. And I. too, was worried about there being kids there with behavior problems since those kinds of kids often get sent to these alternative schools but Josh says the kids are all well behaved where he is. He also did well when he was home schooled.

School may not be for her, but she needs to do SOMETHING, to make MONEY, be PRODUCTIVE, so as not to be a drain, on you and on society. She'll feel better when she gets that first paycheck, spends some of it on something she wants and pays you something to help you out, learns to budget.

Forgive me if your daughter is only in grade school. I assumed she is in college.

Actually she just started 7the grade,we have a long way to go!

Your a really good parent to try to understand your daughter. My parents always had this rule. They made it after my 7th hospitalization I would go in the hospital for long term if I said I was suicidal or cut. Lucky me. I have a lot of problems and none have gotten worked out. Please don't make this rule for your child and even if you have to find a hospital find a private one not a public one they suck. Anyway back on the school. School helps me and motivates my self. It distracts me and I don't want to go into any treatment facility because I want to get a degree in chem so I don't want to miss school. Maybe it is just too much for. This is just me though.