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I need to get this out so bare with me. Mom died five years ago. She was my best friend in the world. I always did whatever i had to please her and make her proud of me. I never dream about her, until lately. My brother got involed in gambling and debt, it has hurt me financially cause we live together. He is getting back on track, but I have dreams that my mother is angry with me. Not proud at all. I used to feel her prescence but no longer. The latest dream I had was yelling at her about my brother and she looked like she was angry with me for saying such things. I guess what Im saying is I have been suicidal since i was 14 or so. The only reason i havent done it over the past fe years was because I am afraid of going to hell and I won't see her again. But since I have this horrible feeling she's upset with me, maybe i should just do it. I don't think I belong here anymore. I know my family would be hurt, but its MY pain, MY sadness and thereapy and pills have done nothing. I feel like I am nothign without her. I wish I could talk to her one more time, again seeking approval. Without her here, I have no one to please, except me, and I don't know how to do that, feel so lost
Secondly I'd like to suggest that you have every right to be angry with your brother if he has a problem that is impacting you. The way I read your dream (and I am not a professional dream reader!) is that you may be afraid of expressing your anger at your brother.
Your last statement about having no one to please (except for you) is very interesting. I have found that the biggest way to "please yourself" is to find a cause that you support and devote some time to it.
Gentle hugs
I try to always put myself in every person in my dream. (someone once told me to interpret dreams this way, and for me, it usually makes sense)
So, YOU are your mother, being upset with YOURSELF for feeling angry at your brother.
You mention that you are still trying to seek your mother's approval, even though she is no longer here with you.
So, it would make sense that you don't feel safe getting directly angry with your brother, yet it comes out in your dreams that your mother is angry with you for being angry with your brother.
Pepper is right.
You have every right to feel upset, let down and even angry with your brother. It's best to work through the emotions, rather then bottling them up, etc., as feelings always manifest themselves in one way or another.
You can't control your brother or his gambling or his bad habits, but you can control how you choose to interact with your brother.
Your mom is not angry with you in heaven. I'm sure it doesn't work that way.
She is watching over you and maybe even speaking through me and Pepper to have you see the situation for what it is.
Your brother is a gambling addict and you have permission to be angry.
You also have permission to let go of your brother and what he chooses to do with his life.
Your mom loves you and wants you to be healthy and happy.
XO
http://articles.latimes.com/1996-06-12/news/ls-14031_1_suicide
If you think you could actually hurt yourself, please go to a hospital or call 911. Hopefully, they can help you.
Some dreams can seem weird and unusual but it's your subconscious way of weaving a story based on situations occurring in your life and your desires. There's a lot of symbolism involved so the actual event that occurs in your dream isn't exactly reality.
I assume you weren't looking for a dream interpretation but if you're interested...
I know how to interpret dreams but my cognitive function extremely impaired right now. However, I will do my best. Yelling is an act of anger. In the dream, are you angry when yelling at your mother? If so and probably even if it isn't so, it represents anger that you probably haven't acknowledged in your conscious mind. I assume the anger is most likely towards your brother and it could also be towards your mother or someone else. It's most likely towards your mother because you're yelling at her. Then again, you're yelling about your brother so it could be towards your brother for hurting you financially or another reason.The anger could be towards both. I think yelling at someone in a dream would probably be your subconscious mind's way of venting.
I'm sorry this is so long.
There is always hope. Never forget that. For over 6 years, nothing could pull me out of this funk, not pills, not counseling, absolutely nothing. Now, I feel quite a bit better. Remember, someday you will, too.
I hope you feel better soon. Take care.