Hi @richierich! I understand your situation as I've been experiencing that for the past few weeks. There was even a time that I feared falling asleep as I may not be able to wake up. Listening to gospel songs and surrounding myself with motivational quotes helped me a lot. Talking to someone helps too and I am here if you need someone to talk to.

Thank you for sharing. Depression lies to us with shame and self hate. It can be very helpful to talk with a trained professional to find the real you under those lies. Suicidal thoughts might need medication from a Doctor. No shame in getting help. We all need some kind of help. Remember that small victories are still victories. Just keeping in the fight is a victory. I am a Christian, so you are in my prayers. Thank you and I hope this was of some help.

Please let your doc know my friend. You don't need to suffer with these thoughts. I know how painful it is when you hit that rock bottom pit. I'm in there with you right now. This is my third trip into this pit of Hell so I can tell you one good thing...this too shall pass! You and I WILL get better and feel better. I know it sounds like BS, I can't even get myself to believe it when I'm this low, but we WILL get better and feel better. Work with your doc and hold onto faith that relief will come in the near future. Until then hold on and know you're not alone my friend!

Hello, Mr. Rich. As you can guess .. suicidal ideation is serious business. I REALLY hope you will seek professional help with yours. No need to live with that going on ... and no need to do it either. It is treatable and I hope you will get that treatment. You deserve happiness .... and CAN have it.

Please try to get help, things can change.

Hi Rich - I see you have already received some great advice so I want to share another thought with you. I have been where you are. Suicide is a choice that everyone has and it does put an end to your pain. But it's final, and there is no absolute on what is waiting for us after. And while your pain is final, the pain itself is really just transferred to others, the people you leave behind. Often we think no one else cares anyway, but suicide effects people that love you now, and people that knew you in the past. The other thing to consider is that whatever you are going through is TEMPORARY. I know it doesn't feel that way, and maybe it's even been there for a long time. But, asking for help is a good start. And this time can be temporary, and you can get through it. But do not suffer without help. Please get on medication, although it might take a few weeks to get the full benefit, it's a start. And as hard as it is, talk to someone. Find a local group. If you can't find one on depression go to AA; they are everywhere and it's still a support group. I'd like you to think of another time in your life that was good or bad, and recognize that the moment in your life was temporary, and you eventually moved onto other moments. So if you can hold on and know that this too will pass, and you are bravely taking the first steps to ask for alternatives to taking your life, you will make it through this.

Thanks for the advice

I would text the crisis text hotline at 741-741 they’re really helpful and give a lot of good resources

Thanks, I live in Spain so not sure I can do that. I feel a lot better at the moment but I will research help over here, thanks for the advice.