Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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WhatLife 05/09/2010

I have a very rocky relationship with my dad. I have always not been good enought for him. Never good enough in sports, never good enough in school. Anything small or big my dad never approved of me. I have been the receipiant of numerous verbal attacks by him to which I have not had any response to. Once even after coming out to him he verbally abused me so much that I told him that he broke all my defences. I had no more defences to put up. That didn't seem too important and he has continued on his verbal attacks and has increased their strength. I reached a point that I was so hurt that I was hoping for death. I still am.

I was wondering could this relationship change at all. I have a feeling that he has talken away all my dignity. Will leaving the house matter at all? I have a feeling that if I leave the house he will feel offended and he will never talk to me again. Is it important to seek his approval. I am 26 is there any hope for me?

Thank you for your input

Hanna

deleted_user 05/09/2010

You are 26, it's time to start making a life for yourself. Maybe if you start working and doing things he will look at your differently. Its' not easy when you don't have a good relationship with your parents. Some people spend their whole lives looking for the approval of a parent, it could be your dad has some issues of his own. I think if you just start living your life, eventually he will see you are making it on your own and will look to have a better relationship with you.

ThePepperMan 05/09/2010

I have no idea why some parents act this way. Time to start doing things to earn YOUR approval! Perhaps you need to turn the tables on him a bit. Next time he starts in on you, perhaps you can say "Dad, I can't remember the last time you approved of me, or had a kind word to say. Perhaps you will understand why I no longer seek your approval."

Then walk away.

deleted_user 05/09/2010

I think you would probably live a happier and healthier life away from your Father. He obviously has his own issues, and is inflicting them upon you habitually. You don't deserve that.

Just because someone contributes sperm or egg...does not entitle them to be loved by you...especially if they treat you like crap.

better to have no contact with your father, than to continue to be abused by him.

{{{{hugs u}}}} Hope you find some peace soon.

WhatLife 05/09/2010

Thanks everyone for your inputs,

Pepperman you are wirte it would be great to have some strength in talking back to him. I cannot find this strength however. As I mentioned I built a lot of self-confidence when I was away for a year for him to knock me down in two days. You know what he says when I walk away from a discussion, many times running out of the house crying, he says look at him he is walking away in defeat. It isn't easy. It sucks.

Hanna

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