Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Recently there was an accident and my boyfriend of coming up on one year was killed. We are soulmates. We had our entire futures planned out. One might even suggest we were "verbally engaged" although nothing was made official and no ring was placed on my finger because like I said, we had a plan. We knew exactly when the time for that would come. We were more than sure we wanted to spend our lives together though. We had already accepted each others insane families and had already decided where we wanted to go with life and how we would tackle each new chapter. We had even anticipated a lot of the fights and obstacles we would encounter. And now without him I am lost. I feel like I am going under, falling off the edge.
I am in constant pain. My chest is always tight and in pain and I often feel like someone is sitting on my chest. I get short of breath and dizzy and nauseous. The pain is becoming too much. I have been seeing a grief counselor but its not helping. Joining this site is a last resort option.
I am afraid of myself and my thoughts and where this pain my drive me. Help me please.
I am in constant pain. My chest is always tight and in pain and I often feel like someone is sitting on my chest. I get short of breath and dizzy and nauseous. The pain is becoming too much. I have been seeing a grief counselor but its not helping. Joining this site is a last resort option.
I am afraid of myself and my thoughts and where this pain my drive me. Help me please.
What happened to you was absolutely horrific. I am so so sorry for what you are going through right now. I know that your grief counselor doesn't seem to be helping you right now. Has she had any suggestions on where to further your counseling?
I also had a partner for 9 years, he isnt dead but left.
it was like a death for me , so i can somewhat relate and that when my depression started.
I also have a crazy insane family , so i have no support , im new here and so far its nice to write a journal and get the feeling out
If ever you need to talk i will try my best to be there for you
huigs and kisses xoxo
You knew him very well, so I would suggest this: what do you think he would tell you if he could come back for a brief visit with you? Would he ask you to pine for him, or would he want you to get on with your life. If you were the one who died, what would you want for him?
I am so very very sorry that you are going through all of this. The closer we are to the person, the harder it will be.
Please do not look at DS as a last resort option, just as the next option you have been able to come up with. A couple of comments:
Therapy can be very helpful, but there are two big requirements. The first one is that we need to find a match with the therapist. Just because a therapist worked wonders for somebody you know does not mean they will work wonders for you. As an example, religion and faith can be a huge part of recovering from a loss like this. If you need faith to process your loss, but the therapist refuses to address the faith aspect it is a doomed effort. The reverse if true. If you are not a person of faith but the therapist pushes faith it is a doomed effort.
Therapy requires effort on our part. We have to look into ourselves and try to understand. We need to confront issues and we need to focus on getting to a better place.
The same can be said for Daily Strength. There are lots of good people here, but each of us takes a different path to getting better. My path may or may not work for you. If it helps, great. If not, then place more emphasis on what others suggest.
And as with therapy, the more we put into DS, the more we get out of it.
That all being said, you can get through this. Other people your age have lost soul mates. That does not mean you are weak, it just means that they found a way and so can you.
Gentle hugs, I know you can do it.
veralynn - My family (Parents) are extremely unsupportive. They actually pretend that the accident didn't happen. I moved out of their house and in with my grandparents who have been extremely supportive. But it just adds to the pain in my heart not having my parents actually be parents. You see I am 18. He was 17. He had his senior year of high school ahead of him. He already had football scholarships lined up just from being scouted throughout summer conditioning and scrimmaging. He planned on going pro If ever given the chance. To make things worse the accident occurred the day after our anniversary. And his birthday is in November. Which is not only hard on me but his twin brother as well. Christmas time is a very significant time for us as well. And his senior football season is in progress...I still go to all the games (despite being a graduate and him not being there) because his younger brother who is also on the team is wearing his number this season in honor of him before they retire it and I promised his brother I would always be there for him (I also promised my boyfriend's twin the same thing) because they were supposed to be my brothers someday too. And they have accepted me as their sister. Their Mother has taken me in as a daughter. His aunts and uncles and grandparents have taken me in as a niece, and grandchild. They have all been so accepting of me. And although all of that is nice...It pains me to be reminded it will never be official. I will never have his last name. I will never bare his children. I will never get to live in a house with him and be successful with him. My soul just feels so incomplete without him....
God bless you and keep you in His arms.
I'm so sorry for your lost as losing someone close whether it be a loved one or friend is hard to deal with as I've lost many loved ones recently. Losing a other half is usually one of the toughest experiences because love is strong emotion. That emotion will make us feel wonderful in ways we can't explain and to lose such a source and that bond of it is all hard to deal, but we can in time and being strong. That pain you feel hurts but things will be alright no matter what, you can get through it :). The love he gave you, you have to find inside of you now. I know it seems hard, but you can by loving you the person you are and providing the love that you need right now for yourself. Try to see what he loved you for and appreciate that inside of you. Realize that he would'nt want to see you like this because of the person you are whom he feel in love with. Try your best to be positive as thinking about his death will only hurt. Look at the times good times you shared and know that you're not alone because you have your loved ones still here with at this very moment and if you're a believer he maybe closer than you think :) You have the memories, and impact he left in various ways that will forever be apart of you. And realize it's a wonderful thing in itself that you found him and had him aslong as you did, as many look their entire and not found this special type of love that you two shared. Sometimes those that we love the most leave early but that doesn't mean that it isn't the end of our lives. There will be others that will come in your life that you may meet and possibly even be with to make you happy. And I know that more than anything I think he love to see you smile again. If you need in any advice or someone to talk too, you can pm me.
Sincerely,
Torrance.
If I were giving advice to a friend, I'd tell them to write the story down. Your whole story of meeting, being together. All your dreams. Create a journal filled with him. Tell the journal who he was to you, and what his hopes and dreams were. I think that might help.
Other than that, crying, and keeping busy when you can, and time. My heart goes out to you.