Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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iuse2behappy 12/09/2013

I have been feeling sad, antsy and anxious for several days now. I can't find solace from anyone around me and I have been searching for a reason as to why this happens to me. I do not post on here that often because I do not believe my problems to be as serious as those of others and I do not have any serious sadness as often as I use to. However today I realized something that seemed to be a recurring theme in the times of my life when I feel most burdened by sadness and anxiety. Whenever I have a paper or an extensive amount of homework from school I get these immense feelings of sadness and anxiety. I am a good student and the last time I recall getting a bad grade on anything I submitted I was a sophomore in high school. It has been almost 6 years now and I feel that school has become a series of motions for me and I have no joy from receiving good grades or being praised for my work. Every time I get a paper back and I read my professors comments the first thing that comes to mind is "Cool, I guess" and I simply put my papers into my backpack. I am constantly called arrogant or conceited for saying that good grades or certificates are not special to me anymore, so I refrain from discussing academics with anyone now. Every time I get a new assignment I feel that I truly dread the thought of having to do it and procrastinate and leave myself barely enough time to complete it. Normally this would seem to be a problem but for myself, even the papers I feel I am not trying on and really bs my way through get praised by my professors and I hate it. I do not know how to control my sadness or anxiety whenever I become encompassed with these feelings, all I know is I have two 5 page papers due tomorrow and Tuesday and I have these feelings right now and really wish I knew how to get rid of them.

iuse2behappy 12/09/2013

I thought maybe sleeping would help relax me but having after waking up I find myself the most depressed and anxious I have been in months.

rk4262 12/09/2013

I am not familiar with your condition, I'm just the opposite, I don't ever admit this, but I have to have the praise of authority figures. If I don't get that praise, I feel that I'm failing and must work harder until I do get that reassurance that I'm succeeding.

I don't really know what to tell you, since I'm the opposite of you, but I want to reach out and let you know that things can get better. I'm not going to tell you to try harder, that's not what you need, instead try smarter. You realize what your problem is, you just don't know how to correct the issue. I have to ask, is there any way you could see a professional counselor? Does your school offer counseling? Some schools do offer free counseling from professional's. If not, there is always the option of talking to others here, but maybe you can talk to one of your teachers. Talking to someone in person is so much better than typing into a computer terminal, but as a last resort a computer works.

I'm sorry but right now those are the best idea's I have, if I think of anything else, I will let you know. Keep thinking about it, maybe you can think of some help that is available. You have my best wishes. Keep your head up, take a deep breath and calm down, it can and will get better as long as you stay on top of it. Unfortunately you will probably fight this the rest of your life, so finding a coping mechanism now would be beneficial to you, the rest of your life.

iuse2behappy 12/09/2013

I have sought out professional help and they said it was only a side effect of my adhd medication. I have been off meds for almost a year now and now everyone i talk to tells me it is just a result of normal stress from school. The more I talk to people and they tell me nothings wrong the worse I feel because I begin thinking maybe it is all just in my head and there is nothing wrong. Despite getting no real joy out of the praise, I like you feel its necessary for me to hear it. Being that I tend to do well so often when I have someone criticize me even for the tiniest thing whether its at home, work or school I dwell on it for the day and it has even gone on for weeks that I dwell on negative feedback. I have been told I have a mind of an elephant because I do not forget things and when criticized it becomes embedded in my mind and I do everything possible to avoid hearing that criticism ever again. Basically I feel that I need the praise but at the same time do not enjoy it like once did.

DepressedRecluse 12/09/2013

hi...just wanted to let you know that I am the same way...and actually it's not being conceited or arrogant...I used to get immense joy from school and good grades...but lately I've just lost it...that joy...I can't seem to find it anywhere...except maybe riding my motorcycle...but just like a drug...as soon as I am done and back to reality i get those immense feelings of sad...and there is no happiness or joy in anything....

Right now I am smack dab in the middle of Finals week and I can't wait for the stress of it all to be over...but I also, cant find the motivation to study...I took an exam last night and I just know I blew it...cause I couldn't even think...

I am also sick...with this winter storm...my allergies and sinuses are just killing me...I have a runny nose, a sinus headache that I've had for weeks, and my blood pressure is through the roof...why? well its my own fault...I don't take my meds but even if i did...I still wouldn't be happy or find any joy...LIFE JUST SUCKS RIGHT NOW!

I am sorry...didn't mean to hijack your post...just wanted to let you know that you are not alone...now I'll go try to do something productive!!!!....

Good Luck!!!

iuse2behappy 12/09/2013

I get what you mean I am preparing for finals next week, have two papers due this week and several other assignments and it all just gets to me. I am sick also, I woke up nauseous and light headed today and didn't go to class this morning and that makes me feel worse now. I have tried distracting myself for a while through work and working out but it really is a temporary relief. Lately even when I do these things though I find these thoughts creeping back into my head.

deleted_user 12/09/2013

I totally understand where you are coming from. School-related anxiety and depression has plagued me since I can first remember being in school (grade school) and obviously it got worse with time. I too was always a good student and got good grades... enough about me.

I have a few questions for you
1. do you like your school or your program?
2. do you enjoy your classes? any or all of them?
2.5 if you do enjoy, what do you enjoy about them?
3. are you involved in any extracurricular activities - work, school groups, sports, volunteering, exercise?

I may be able to share a little wisdom based on your answer the the above questions.

muskrattiger 12/09/2013

I think there is a small thing that is getting mised and that is about you being praised to me I Hurd you get praised in front of others and so some people are having a problem with that and thinking you are someone you are not and it has been building up to a point ware you can't enjoy having praise I think I would go and talk to these teachers that are giving you the praise in frount of the class and ask them not to do that if they would like to talk to you personally that would be ok but not in front of others .........I to have the problem with taking criticism because there can be 100 good things happen to me. And one bad or negetave thing and it ruouins my day my weak my month .....so as each episode comes up I deal with it ........I will try to see the good in it all if you can find the good it helps ......and you have to accept people for who they are and rember you are who you are and you don't need to change for eneyone they might have one opinion that doesent make it right .........try not to take things to personally ......take care of your self ......god bless

iuse2behappy 12/09/2013

@Julesheart26 I do not like my school, my ideal school is the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign which I previously attended for two of my undergraduate years on a nearly full academic scholarship. Unfortunately I dealt with extensive racism there and decided to take a year of classes at community college to get away from the uncomfortable environment there. I am still taking classes that would allow me to continue in my major Kinesiology, which I plan on completing next year when I return to the U of I. I do enjoy my major but it requires an extensive amount of gen ed classes which I am still completing now in my third year of college which I do not really enjoy. Much of the material in my classes I learned in high school, through my certified personal trainer course or through my own independent research on various aspects of health and fitness. I also feel that the assignments I receive are very tedious where I simply discuss a topic of health or an article related to health or basically do some simple analysis on whatever topic we are discussing. I am not involved in any school programs at my community college but when I was at u of I, I held a position as a personal trainer through the university and was a member of the Mannie L. Jackson Illinois Academic Enrichment and Leadership Program. I currently work as an independent contractor personal trainer and have my own training studio and do engage in exercise myself.

iuse2behappy 12/09/2013

@muskrattiger the other students are not the main ones who call me arrogant, I get it more from family members who praise me for my accomplishments and when I say I do not get that much satisfaction from the good grades or certificates they assume I am just full of myself. I also have the habit of giving people very clear, direct and honest opinions when they ask me for it and after hearing my opinion and my explanation for it they get mad and say I am wrong, rude and inconsiderate. Ultimately I am very clear with how I feel about a matter but somehow people always twist my words into meaning something else.

deleted_user 12/09/2013

Anxiety pops the joy out of everything. I'm not sure how much time you get between things but walking is a good way to help.. when you have anxiety you hold your breath and walking forces you to have to do deep breathing to get the oxygen back in your system. Stress may be the issue.

muskrattiger 12/09/2013

Hi I hope this goes through ......I just wanted to say I am so sorry you had to go through so muse racism that you felt you had to leave the school you wanted to attend .....in this day and age it scnhouldent happen was there no help you could get this is not leagal to it is harassment to .........I am happy that you have went for help .....if you don't think they are right in what they say is the problem than tell them and be sure to tell the doctor exactualy how you feel and you could ask for councling if you feel you need it ...talking is very important to getting better ....I had to learn that the hard way .......I have suffered from some leaves of depreshion all my life .....but one time I got realy bad I was crying all the time at first I would only cry when I was alone but than I couldent controll that then I stopped talking and I had splint crying ..so my h took me to the hospital and I stayed there for 2 months the doctor wanted me to stay longer but I had young children to get back to ....they had to give me ect ...because it was going dowen to far to fast ..it was a life saver .....I learned to talk .....everything has to come out all that has ever hurt you .....has to come out we aren't made to keep all that pain inside it will only hurt us more the longer we keep it in ........

muskrattiger 12/09/2013

I don't think it is all in your head it is in your head but it is real ....and maby you need a second opinion ........or to talk to your councolor again and make sure that you tell them exactualy how you feel what you are going through ....if you don't tell them how bad it is they can't help you they need to know how it is impacting your life to ......I think that you schould tell your family they need to get educated on depreshion to know what you are going through because that has a impact on how you are thinking and the answers you give people .....I had to take my husband to see my phicatrist a few times to get him educated about depreshion so he could understand what I was going through .....some one who has not experenanced depreshion have no clue what we go through ......I have that same problem with criticism a100 things can go right and some one does one negative thing to me or say to me and it brings me right dowe...my head won't shut up ...I am doing better with that now I am on a med to help with that .....you might look into that ........

muskrattiger 12/09/2013

Hi me again we are having a snow storm and I was off line again the power was off ...1800 .people with no hudro but ours came back on sorry about so Maney posts it was the only way I could get eney thing posted to you ...you don't sound like eney of those negative things that your family says you are I like some one who is strate forward ..I like the truth ......I believe you to be a honest person ..a good person so take care of your self .....god bless

iuse2behappy 12/11/2013

My parents have had sessions with a psychiatrist as my sister dealt with depression when she was younger. I do not like talking to them about it because they do not have a really supportive manner of handling things. I have addressed suicidal thoughts with them and rather than give me positive reinforcement they treat me like a baby where they change their tone inflections when speaking to me. Also for a while rather than try to create a positive environment they avoided smiling and or behaving in a happy manner whenever I came around. I have always been the one in my family who loves to joke around but whenever I make a joke, they get serious, especially my dad. I am sitting here and took a break from on of my papers and have been drinking and am beginning to become increasingly concerned with my mental health but feel that I have no positive reinforcement or a solid relationship with anyone that could really help me.

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