Friends in Christ, not much I can say except for different reasons, I would have done the same thing many years ago. Have you been through A Rehab. Center? I guess depression runs through a family because my Mother gad it and our Daughter has it worse than I do. Now I would have defeated much of it it I only could have kept up cardiovascular exercise. The endorphin high lasted 2 day from running 5 miles per. I ran for 32 years b4 my neck gave out. 3 bad disks there. About to have Cervical surgery next month. Just had rotator cuff surgery last year and a hernia all in one year. But I promise you this. If that surgery gives me a few more years of cushioning I'll be jogging and working out like nobody's business... I say all this because the exercise definitely kept me in survival mode. Might I ask about the accident? Anyone else passed or did it just affect your mental condition?
I enjoy talking and I'll prolly gave you laughing a time or two but I'd love to hear your story.
I've done many varied jobs much of my my and owned businesses for over 25 years and 20 years Air Force Reserves. Worked in Ritz Carlton Hotel Industry here in New Orleans And Casino industry. Have strong Trac. TRAIL. TRUCKING Zdispatch background plus avid handy man and garage mechanic on autos... Older models like myself lolol
You take care friend and call on me any time. You sound like a Christian man but not positive no matter. I am strong Christian roots. Got my Mom's morals. My name is Larry or Cajunboy. God Bless praying fur ya

I wouldn't ask my family for help. They don't understand. Maybe you need to find people who understand and ask them for help, and leave the family out of it.

I think you need to stop for a moment though: if your dad had to choose between you being dead and him fixing your car, he'd fix your car a thousand times. Dads bang on about paying them back to try and be good dads. It's not because they care more for the money than you; on the contrary. They're doing it because they think it's the right thing for a father to do, to help his kid grow.

A certain generation of dads were raised to be short, grumpy, hardass, unsympathetic no matter how much sympathy they feel. it's just a generational thing that you don't have to follow when it's your turn. :)

Don't die. It would break your parents in a way I don't think you realise.

Sorry for the situation you're in. there is hope that you'll do better. Some medications do help. I'm taking something for depression and anxiety that is helping and also going to therapy. Have you tried therapy before? a good therapist will help you. Talking through your issues, the thoughts and feelings tied to them does help you to have hope and move on mentally and emotionally. Ask your family to read about mental health on a site like webmd.com. Would they rather you had cancer? No one chooses mental health problems and all the suffering involved.

Have sex, that always helps. Go to a party. Take a drive. Music. Do some psychedelics. Enjoy yourself. Depression is so sucky, I know. Take some time for yourself. If you don't feel like talking to counselors. don't worry about it. I wouldn't make any rash decisions. Take it easy. Breath. Have some fun

My heart is with you. No easy answers. Life isn't fair. You're a valiant person to open up and share your story. Pills don't heal, but they do help us cope as prescribed by a doc. Reguardless of how you feel sometimes and I believe those feelings are real, I want you to know that your life is still filled with hope, purpose and possibilities. Put yourself in a position to love and be loved by others and the Lord. Surround yourself with healthy and helpful people. Read encouraging books. Volunteer in your community. Enjoy the day in the park or doing something recreational. Working is a for us men at home or abroad. We feel fulfilled. Take care of your spirit, soul and body. God bless.

thankyou all for your support!!