Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
hi,
I just want to say that I am feeling really terrible, like completely knocked down. I hate to be in this frame of mind, but I don't really feel like facing anyone. I want to withdraw completely.
Back to school night with the parents did not go so well. I am brand new there and people really gave me a hard time. The parents came in and I thought it was supposed to be a meet and greet. It was more like a bunch of sharks just diving in. It was awful. I was humiliated in front of a group.
Also, I'd been camping with these people for some time. Someone invited me to go as they thought I was feeling depressed and needed something to do. It made me really happy and I was really enjoying it and then the people I was with starting getting really angry at me, saying I was not doing this and that right. A few times people even blew up at me and lost their temper at me. It scared the crap out of me. I then ran into an old friend who said we could camp together, that I didn't deserve that, and finally when I brought up the idea of the camping trip for fall, they announced to me that they were getting a hotel room together and would be hanging out together. I was not informed, invited or included. They said I could get a room of my own. Which means I would be down there alone with no one to hang with eat with or anything. I was just totally stunned. So, that makes a total of two groups of ppl who just don't want to go with me. Now, this with work too.
I try really hard, I do, to work hard and make my life worthwhile. My depression lies in the fact that my attempts at things fail and fail again, it seems. I am not sure of the way to go. I do try my best really and try to be honest. I just am very confused. And my feelings are extremely hurt I cried for the longest time yesterday.
The big bomb fell about two weeks ago. The therapist/counselor who ran the group I was going to for two years was working extremely well. He said they would always be there for me. I did individual with him as well. Was doing so good I didn't need to see him so often. All the sudden I get a call from him stating that he just quit. Will no longer take phone calls, no more groups, no more individual. Just up and out. BAM. Got to say that weekly group was everything to me, a real stabilizing force. I am just spinning round in my head amazed and blown away. Yeah they would say at group I am acting like a victim but I don't know how else to act at the moment. Between both my social structure seeming to collapse and the demise of this group, I honestly don't know how to cope or where to go. I have failed so much in my life and been so left aside that I am entirely not sure things will ever improve. Maybe I am exaggerating, I don't know. I feel a bit toward the end of my rope.
I just want to say that I am feeling really terrible, like completely knocked down. I hate to be in this frame of mind, but I don't really feel like facing anyone. I want to withdraw completely.
Back to school night with the parents did not go so well. I am brand new there and people really gave me a hard time. The parents came in and I thought it was supposed to be a meet and greet. It was more like a bunch of sharks just diving in. It was awful. I was humiliated in front of a group.
Also, I'd been camping with these people for some time. Someone invited me to go as they thought I was feeling depressed and needed something to do. It made me really happy and I was really enjoying it and then the people I was with starting getting really angry at me, saying I was not doing this and that right. A few times people even blew up at me and lost their temper at me. It scared the crap out of me. I then ran into an old friend who said we could camp together, that I didn't deserve that, and finally when I brought up the idea of the camping trip for fall, they announced to me that they were getting a hotel room together and would be hanging out together. I was not informed, invited or included. They said I could get a room of my own. Which means I would be down there alone with no one to hang with eat with or anything. I was just totally stunned. So, that makes a total of two groups of ppl who just don't want to go with me. Now, this with work too.
I try really hard, I do, to work hard and make my life worthwhile. My depression lies in the fact that my attempts at things fail and fail again, it seems. I am not sure of the way to go. I do try my best really and try to be honest. I just am very confused. And my feelings are extremely hurt I cried for the longest time yesterday.
The big bomb fell about two weeks ago. The therapist/counselor who ran the group I was going to for two years was working extremely well. He said they would always be there for me. I did individual with him as well. Was doing so good I didn't need to see him so often. All the sudden I get a call from him stating that he just quit. Will no longer take phone calls, no more groups, no more individual. Just up and out. BAM. Got to say that weekly group was everything to me, a real stabilizing force. I am just spinning round in my head amazed and blown away. Yeah they would say at group I am acting like a victim but I don't know how else to act at the moment. Between both my social structure seeming to collapse and the demise of this group, I honestly don't know how to cope or where to go. I have failed so much in my life and been so left aside that I am entirely not sure things will ever improve. Maybe I am exaggerating, I don't know. I feel a bit toward the end of my rope.
There a lot of very insensitive and highly critical people out there. A lot of people, too, are very clique-ish and only want to be around those considered the "right" people. I have found that at the end of the day, there are really only a few people I can really count on out of the many, many I have attempted to socialize with. Some years back I did an experiment. I didn't call anyone or offer to do anything social with anyone for a month. The two who called me were the people I decided were my real friends. And having just one or two people to count on can make such a difference. Sometimes folks go on and on about how wonderful people are, etc. but that has not been my experience. There ARE good people, but an awful lot of them IMO suck.
Perhaps there is another therapist/group out there that you can become a part of. In my experience, some therapists simply write people off when they are no longer clients. I had one once who told me if I ever ran into him outside the office I was never to acknowledge him or say hi.
You have good reason to feel very hurt by everything that's happened. I hope you are able to find some good people worthy of your time. If people don't want to hang with you, that's their loss.
I don't know if you take meds, but they are helpful for me.
It sounds as if you should have been given more information about
what to expect, and how to address the over-eager group. Even if this is a yearly event, the purpose should be clear to all, as well as how to address any questions better for another time. No need to be embarrassed - next time you'll be ready for them.
I remember your other posts about unpleasant camping experiences. If there are group activities that you really enjoy, but you don't know any reasonable, friendly grown-ups to enjoy them with, maybe you can find similar activities. Check out The Sierra Club.
The thing with attaching your well-being to a certain person, therapist, group - relationships often end, groups disban, therapists burn out, quit, move away. Finding what you need works better, when it's something not in anyone else's control. If you get hooked on walking a few miles every day, it isn't going to disappear.
Sending good thoughts.
That you CAN cry is such a gift. Maybe you can do some journaling. I'll bet there's a bit of anger underneath that sadness, and righly so!! Blessings,
Andrea