Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
its always happened from time to time i guess but lately its happening more and more... its really hard to describe, but i'll try...
sometimes something will happen to trigger it (bad thoughts, bad situations, talking about it, etc...), but sometimes for no obvious reason at all, reality will just... shift... and nothing feels quite right
sometimes it feels like theres demons hiding in every shadow, or that everyone in a crowd is out to get me, or that something truely aweful is about to happen... everything goes a little darker on the edges... its just... not the same... its like ive slipped into another reality altogether
its not like a panic attack... i usually stay pretty calm about it, on the outside at least, but it doesnt feel anything like a panic attack... altho it can often trigger them
there is always a feeling of very deep dread associated with it
theres really no way out of it... all i can do is do my best to ride it out... all the while hiding it from anyone around me, try for sometimes up to days before i can actually fall asleep, and hope its gone by the time i wake up
when i described this to an anonymous online friend, she asked if i ever saw things that werent there... and i sometimes do, but not often... its just a flash or a blur out of the corner of my eye... like a cat jumping from one shadow to the other (but its just a blur, it doesnt look like a cat)
she told me i needed to tell my psychiatrist about it... and ive tried to, but since getting back into 'the program', ive seen a psychiatrist 3 times and its been a different one each time... its really hard to talk about this, specially to someone i dont know...
im only writing this now cause that friend has me worried now and its causing the reality shifts to come on a lot more frequently
i really dont like this feeling, i wish it would just go away
but there is a benifit to it... it makes me go numb to the panic and the depression, like ive found a little hidey hole away from the storm thats always raging inside my mind
ya know... sometimes it feels like im all that stands between that storm and the rest of the world... its a great responsibility... if it broke out, who knows what would happen?
today is not a good day...
*sigh*
sorry for rambling so much
sometimes something will happen to trigger it (bad thoughts, bad situations, talking about it, etc...), but sometimes for no obvious reason at all, reality will just... shift... and nothing feels quite right
sometimes it feels like theres demons hiding in every shadow, or that everyone in a crowd is out to get me, or that something truely aweful is about to happen... everything goes a little darker on the edges... its just... not the same... its like ive slipped into another reality altogether
its not like a panic attack... i usually stay pretty calm about it, on the outside at least, but it doesnt feel anything like a panic attack... altho it can often trigger them
there is always a feeling of very deep dread associated with it
theres really no way out of it... all i can do is do my best to ride it out... all the while hiding it from anyone around me, try for sometimes up to days before i can actually fall asleep, and hope its gone by the time i wake up
when i described this to an anonymous online friend, she asked if i ever saw things that werent there... and i sometimes do, but not often... its just a flash or a blur out of the corner of my eye... like a cat jumping from one shadow to the other (but its just a blur, it doesnt look like a cat)
she told me i needed to tell my psychiatrist about it... and ive tried to, but since getting back into 'the program', ive seen a psychiatrist 3 times and its been a different one each time... its really hard to talk about this, specially to someone i dont know...
im only writing this now cause that friend has me worried now and its causing the reality shifts to come on a lot more frequently
i really dont like this feeling, i wish it would just go away
but there is a benifit to it... it makes me go numb to the panic and the depression, like ive found a little hidey hole away from the storm thats always raging inside my mind
ya know... sometimes it feels like im all that stands between that storm and the rest of the world... its a great responsibility... if it broke out, who knows what would happen?
today is not a good day...
*sigh*
sorry for rambling so much
hugs and puppy kisses
sometimes its not as bad as others, but sometimes its just horrible
*hugs*
I pray that God will guide you to peace, Love, and understanding.