Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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ReyBB8 03/21/2018

I almost tried to kill myself yesterday, until my father came home. I had already wrote a message goodbye, I had already had the pills in my hand with a glass of fresh water to drown myself. But the moment I heard him come through the door, guilt washed over me like tsunami and it made me put those pills back into the bottle. So I wiped up my tears and put on a brave face. It is not that I chickened out (because I really did want to die), but hurting my family by hurting myself was worse than the feelings I had felt in the moment. If he had not shown up, I might not be writing this. It's so easy for one to get caught in their own head when one is lonesome, yet it his harder to stay there when another breaks your concentration. If I'm ever alone, I might actually do it. Maybe I'll be smart enough to plan out when he will be home. Instead of finding me overdosing, maybe he'll catch me in a peacefull sleep. I think it would feel less terrifying. I know to kill myself is selfish because it will hurt my family, but I'm hurting every day. I've tried help as I have been seeing a therapist for about four years now. I've been on anti-depressants for months, but I'm not quite sure they work well enough. Why continue to live a life that I'm not really living?

cautiously.optimistic 03/21/2018

I feel for you and what you have been going through. As you found out last night what you were about to do was not the answer. Take that as a sign that your father is there to help you along with others around you.
Yes I truly don’t understand everything that might have brought you to that point but what about your potential to learn and grow from this and to one day help someone out with maybe the same feelings you had yesterday. This world is such a fragile but beautiful place. One day we are up the next we are down. These are all hurdles in the game of life. We learn by getting over them.
Try to stay positive, keep your head up, and to always move forward.

shadowlady 03/21/2018

I feel your pain. I'm so sorry you felt the only answer was ending your life. I know things can and often do get really bad, but there's always a chance to make things better if we keep trying. Seek out a trusted adult to confide in, change counselors if the one you have is not working, talk to your MD about new meds. Hang in there. God bless.

red47640 03/21/2018

Refraining from killing yourself is not "chickening out"; actually doing it would have been. That's all I'm gonna say.

QueenOfTheLeaves 03/21/2018

Hi there, I'm really sorry to hear you have been experiencing so much emotional pain. It sounds like what you are feeling must be extremely overwhelming and consuming, and I imagine that you feel like it is hard to hold on when the pain you are experiencing is causing you to feel like taking your life would be the answer. As another individual wrote in the comments above, I can't totally understand or relate to what you are going through, but I know from my own struggle with depression how low those lows can really be, and it is so hard to hear that someone else is experiencing these emotions. I just want to say that even though I don't know you, your life is meaningful; I am really proud of you for holding on, even through these terribly dark times. I am hoping that a light will come your way soon. I know you may feel hopeless right now, but trying to hold onto hope of even the smallest things that bring you some sort of joy may be helpful to keep pushing through these dark times. Keep persevering. You are stronger than you think. I believe in you.

shouldiorshouldnti 03/25/2018

Are you on an antidepressant that might be the cause of your suicidal thoughts? Sometimes your medication can actually CAUSE suicidal thoughts. Also, a friend of mine had her husband succeed in killing himself and honestly It has DEVASTATED this family. It seems very selfish. Making others suffer so you can stop. Finally, remember when you feel that way it is a MOMENT, it will pass. Talk to your father. Tell someone. Have someone you can call text or write. Take care of you. You are valuable and worth the effort.

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