Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Re: suicide/hopelessness/

TooMuch
TooMuch

does anyone else think that depression knows what it's talking about? They always say things like "your depression is lying to you" but I'm not sure depression is the liar. It seems to me that to contemplate ending your life earlier than might otherwise happen is natural and normal and healthy. Why would anyone whole heartedly want to keep living in a world like this with all of the atrocities we are powerless to prevent? And beyond those globally catastrophic events there are personal tragedies that just boggle the mind. We are all utterly alone with our thoughts and sometimes it becomes too much and who can blame anyone for wanting out? It doesn't mean we all can or should end our lives, but whats the harm really in finding peace. Life is so up and down I can't handle the up and down of it any more. I guess it could be all down all the time and that might make contemplating things easier, but there are all these moments that are supposed to be happy and other moments that are actually happy but far too short lived and then you find yourself living for those moments and feeling pathetic for how much you hate all the in between moments. I just dont know that there is a point and don't understand how any one can judge those who step out of the game. 

TooMuch
TooMuch
But no! Maybe I am all wrong because maybe other people can handle the ups and downs "better" or with more "clarity" but there are still children dying right now and people starving to death and species being wiped out and people being hurt or belittled or dragged down in some way and we're supposed to do our thing and go merrily on our way. I don't need think being aware of all of this, of the massive constant wave of negative energy on the planet and not being able to handle the dissonance between that and the other wave, the positive energy one, is a bad thing. And then adding personal problems to it, how is it normal or healthy NOT to crack under all that strain??? I feel like caving in is the only rational reaction.
Heidiclark
Heidiclark
And yet that is depression talking to you saying you should give up because of all the problems in the world and because of all of your ups and downs. People who aren't depressed are well aware of the issues of the world and also have their ups and downs and yet want to go on living because they know their lives have meaning and becuase of the love they share with others among other things
SuyB
SuyB
No Depression doesn't lie. It repeats itself over and over and over in the feelings and the way they impact our life. You start to see a pattern of how depression affects what happens in your life. Part of life is ups and downs...but depression makes you feel so alone and isolated from everyone else...Therapy and meds do help but you'll always have to remember what depression is and what it does to you...and then......another cuppa coffee my friend!
TooMuch
TooMuch
But I take issue with the idea that our lives have meaning. i can't deny that my life has meaning to others, but i can't see how there is any higher meaning. And in that case we're all just suffering through it for each other which is beautiful in a way but also kind of pointless and cruel.

I laughed today. I smiled and breathed deeply. I saw a gorgeous sunset shining on a mountain and I walked in a cool rain and I held a newborn baby. I feel like an ungrateful cow that in spite of all those moments I still feel this sense of uselessness and despair. Clearly life is full of beauty but there's also so much horrible shit. I don't know how to find balance.
TooMuch
TooMuch
I don't even know what my point is really. I just see people losing their battle with depression and we all get very sad about it and everyone starts talking about awareness and what not and I feel and think all of those things but additionally I think there's one less person suffering. And sometimes it feels like everyone is killing themselves and that the world is in really deeply awful shape and almost like a darkness is closing in, and each person that takes their life kind of contributes to the idea in my head that everything is not ok and that it is not going to be alright.
SuZQ
SuZQ
Depression is real. You are suffering in a "dark" place right now. But, please know there is hope. Reaching out to others is helpful to bring us out! When I am in a "dark" place, things which work best are praying, calling loving and wise friends and family, and exercising. Praying for you to find what works best for you and that you know you are wonderful!
Heidiclark
Heidiclark
I hear what you're saying. I really do. And I find your post especially sad because you put into words what a lot of us only think about which is the question or whether or not people should be expected to suffer with no end in site until death. That's a hard one. All I know is I am getting better after 25 years of not responding to meds, therapies, hospitalizations, ECT's, biofeedback, etc, etc. So it has to be the praying that I do. I really don't know what else it could be. I'm not religious at all by the way. But I think we all find ourselves needing something above and beyond what our minds can understanding. And we all crave peace and that's where the spiritual comes in. That's why people keep going. Because they know there's a reason to do it. And you can too.