Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
My back pain is TERRIBLE today and the rain is making my mood so much worse. UGGGGHHH. Between my chronic pain, my depression and this weather - I have ZERO ability to do anything. Days like this are total hell on wheels for me. I get very anxious when I have nothing "to do" (even if it's something small like cleaning the cat box, Lol). I sit in my head and gaze out at the tv. I'm not actually watching anything - I just stare at it and disappear in my head, it's fresh hell.
I will probably say this about 5 thousand times but here goes #1. I am a HUGE Linkin Park fan and with Chester's (lead singer) suicide - it LITERALLY sent me into the hospital. Now, I was already down a suicidal road anyway but this was the sprinkles on top. I learned during my hospital stay that what I was experiencing was an actual pyschiatric phenonmen called "contagion". Basically, when you're already lost in deep depression and suicial - if you have a loved one (or someone you connect with) that commets suicide (or died in the past from suicide) you become very "seduced" by the idea. You get this longing to be with that person - this is what happen to me. Laugh if you want but - its true.
The reason why I share all this is because I watched a YouTube video of one of his interviews (he was always really open about his depression, etc) - he shared a saying that I have since "borrowed"....."my mind is like a bad neighborhood, you really don't want to walking in it alone." I relate to this SO MUCH.
Today, I'm lost in my "neighborhood" and it's terrible. I'm tired but can't sleep, I'm restless but can't get the energy to do anything, I want to do SOMETHING but I'm fighting concentration problems, focus problems and then there is ALWAYS my chronic back pain that leaves me in tears.
It's fall now and I'm so tweaked out about the fact that winter is coming. I dispise winter. I need sun.
Can anyone else relate to hating crappy weather? Any suggestions or things that have worked for you when you're trapped inside and inside your own head? I think I'll just listen to Linkin Park all day and cry. (uggggh)
