I had a great day yesterday, besides the fact I am sun burned from the top of my head to my toes LOL! I went kayaking with the social group I joined on the buffalo river yesterday and had a great time. It was a 10 mile stretch down the river and it took us 5 hours to do it. I jumped off a 30 ft. cliff. A drunk girl was in front of me and she jumped right off. When I got to the ledge I had second thoughts about jumping. I did not want some drunk girl to show me up so I jumped. As I was falling I immediately thought why did I do this. I landed and was just fine. I wanted to jump again but the group was wanting to continue down the river.

I did bring up my wife but only when my new friends asked about something that pertained to her. I was able to talk about her and not start bawling and that was a major improvement. I shared with them and I fill rewarded. I opened myself up and they didn't run. I think that I am finally learning who I am and I think that I like what I've learned so far.
I know some of you like me at first have isolated yourself from the world.trust me, that is not the way to live. I am so fortunate to have joined this social group and I suguest you go out and do the same. Go on the web and type in your city, state and social club. I have nothing to say but good things about the Jackson Social Club. You have nothing to lose. If you are lonely and are just looking for some companionship this is a great way to do it. I have learned that even though the people in my group don't understand my loss, They don't pretend that they do and I like that. A lot of these people share my lonlynes and I am feeling a void in their life just as they are for me. I have realized that I might be able to relate with these people in a different way and I am OK with that.

I am so happy that I get to share something positive with this support group instead of me sharing my pain and anguish. I know that some of you don't talk about the good things here and I for 1 would like to know about the positive things in your lives so please share if it is not too personal. I just want you to know that by reading your posts I have come to love and care for you some of you. If I sent you a personal message that means that I care about your post or I like your reply. I am sorry to say that I don't remember who told me to PUT MYSELF OUT THERE but it was here. If you remember telling me to do that message me. That is the best advice that I have ever received. I am going to look at my past posts to see if I can find out who told me that