Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Well, in case I was unsure I might have ptsd...that might be cleared up now.
I had my dr. visit this week and I like her a lot. I talked to her about the medication. My main symptoms are severe anxiety, which by its sheer drain is depressing. I've been taking seroquel and ativan for sleep for about five years. It has kept me well and on an even keel.
Been doing therapy effectively and left my very abusive situation, permanently, about four or five months ago. Since the no contact, I've been starting to chill...and for the first time in my life anyone has ever said I am looking relaxed and happy...it's all coming to the surface in quite a way.
When I saw her I expressed the fact that I am uncomfortable with taking benzos for any extended period of time. I used to abuse them, and uncomfortable with the side effects and long-term potential of seroquel. She did not disagree. Medical marijuana is legal in my state, we have several dispensaries. She was willing to fax my records.
So what happens? I go to sleep normally for the first time in years lastnight without ANY drugs, and I really paid for it. Early in the morning, I awoke to the sound of someone wailing and sobbing...but it's me because I am the only person in the house. I had ground my jaws and teeth together so tight I could hardly open my mouth, my neck was extremely tense, and it was one of my worst nightmares ever, it was like it lasted and hour, and I was extremely terrified.
I guess I was pretty accurate, that when I told her upon reflection over the past five years, I felt my problems even including my attempted suicide was the sheer effort of holding in my terrible emotions over my circumstance and my inablility to cope with my harrowing experiences. Boy was I right. In fact I am holding and repressing my emotions so severely that I am screaming like mad while I am asleep. At least I understand enough to know that a lot of this is obviously sitting here in my subconscious and it is overpowering.
My question is if it starts to simply just come out, instead of basically being tightly controlled by both myself and these powerful drugs, will it die down over time? Will it lessen? It was fearsome and terrible. And will an MJ card be preferable or will I simply be numbing again? Also, with my profession MJ is not culturally accepted and it is still illegal federally.
I am deciding to keep on with the treatment of seroquel, even if not every night, because this is completely overwhelming almost to the point of disabling. If this were to happen every night I could not work.
And, how will I explain this to a potential partner who has to sleep with me?! And explain why I take these meds anyway...I guess I would have to just be honest and see if he could deal-or not.
Anyone else have any insights or thoughts? This is very difficult to deal with.
orion888
I had my dr. visit this week and I like her a lot. I talked to her about the medication. My main symptoms are severe anxiety, which by its sheer drain is depressing. I've been taking seroquel and ativan for sleep for about five years. It has kept me well and on an even keel.
Been doing therapy effectively and left my very abusive situation, permanently, about four or five months ago. Since the no contact, I've been starting to chill...and for the first time in my life anyone has ever said I am looking relaxed and happy...it's all coming to the surface in quite a way.
When I saw her I expressed the fact that I am uncomfortable with taking benzos for any extended period of time. I used to abuse them, and uncomfortable with the side effects and long-term potential of seroquel. She did not disagree. Medical marijuana is legal in my state, we have several dispensaries. She was willing to fax my records.
So what happens? I go to sleep normally for the first time in years lastnight without ANY drugs, and I really paid for it. Early in the morning, I awoke to the sound of someone wailing and sobbing...but it's me because I am the only person in the house. I had ground my jaws and teeth together so tight I could hardly open my mouth, my neck was extremely tense, and it was one of my worst nightmares ever, it was like it lasted and hour, and I was extremely terrified.
I guess I was pretty accurate, that when I told her upon reflection over the past five years, I felt my problems even including my attempted suicide was the sheer effort of holding in my terrible emotions over my circumstance and my inablility to cope with my harrowing experiences. Boy was I right. In fact I am holding and repressing my emotions so severely that I am screaming like mad while I am asleep. At least I understand enough to know that a lot of this is obviously sitting here in my subconscious and it is overpowering.
My question is if it starts to simply just come out, instead of basically being tightly controlled by both myself and these powerful drugs, will it die down over time? Will it lessen? It was fearsome and terrible. And will an MJ card be preferable or will I simply be numbing again? Also, with my profession MJ is not culturally accepted and it is still illegal federally.
I am deciding to keep on with the treatment of seroquel, even if not every night, because this is completely overwhelming almost to the point of disabling. If this were to happen every night I could not work.
And, how will I explain this to a potential partner who has to sleep with me?! And explain why I take these meds anyway...I guess I would have to just be honest and see if he could deal-or not.
Anyone else have any insights or thoughts? This is very difficult to deal with.
orion888
I think any 'new developments' since tweaking the Seroquel might explain the new experiences. It's my understanding that stuff is very powerful and even dangerous if not taken properly ... or stopped properly, but I am no expert on the subject.
I am sure your doctor is an expert on the subject.
Gentle hugs
exactly.
Your emotional dam has been blocked. Take away the blockages slowly and carefully. Let a trickle through, and handle it. then let more of a trickle through. You can't let yourself be deluged.
The choice doesn't have to be all or nothing.
There are MANY youtubes on going off psychoactive medication. But to start with, it's important to start from where you are at. You might be able to halve a low dose - but you wouldn't want to halve a high one.