but isn't an invalidating family a dysfunctional family? Not a great loving family but one that is broken? I think that is important to point out here....

I hear around AA all the time Fake it till u make it! It is common phrase said to someone struggling....AA is the biggest dysfunctional family there is as all of us are drunks! LOL I know I am exaggerating about the functions of AA as if they are family...they are not but many do treat AA as their family....

A lot of times I'm not happy but I show that I'm happy in front of my kids if that's what the quote means I wasn't sure. As far as talking about my feelings it sometimes helps but for me it really depends on who I'm talking to. It has to be some one who is really interested in what I have to say and is willing to keep our conversation private. Another wards there has to be trust. That's why if I could afford it I would look for a good therapist that identifies with my issues. I had a good one at one time and she helped me a lot. I have been ill for along time and while my family loves me they are not really interested in what I have say about my self any longer. So I usually keep the conversation light these days.

very interesting. I hope this book is helpful for you.

My Family was invalidating. I would claim to be on top of my game when deep down inside I was struggling.

Des that was great. You've just explained my last boyfriend and his entire family and opened my eyes to the fact that I don't believe that, not a jot. I believe in being real even when real ain't pretty. And I don't believe it's possible to be happy if you aren't real.

I have a friend who is also suffering from depression. 9 times out of 10 when i ask him how he is doing, he says "Faking it til I make it". And I always say to myself...how does one DO that!? Then I realize I AM doing that!! I think some people with depression become amazing actors and actresses in the sense that we have to fake it due to the stigma attached. But I personally don't think that faking anything is going to make me heal any quicker....

I faked it while I was working, people did not like to take about the D word. There was so much stigma attached to it.

You could ask your boss to leave early for a dentist appointment, but I would never say I need to leave early for a psychiatrist appt.

Thank god times have changed and it's accepted more as time goes on.

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I would rather ACT happy than act depressed. I would rather be around someone who acts happy rather than acts depressed.

ACTING happy is better than ACTING sad ... for EVERYONE.

I refuse to justify depression. It is powerful enough without my involvement. It involves ME ... I don't involve IT. I refuse to. It is the enemy ... and SOMETIMES wins .. but when it does, .. it gets no help from me.

Keep this in mind ... Happy .... GOOD. Depression .... BAD. Fake it? Sure ... WHATEVER works. Show it no mercy.

Depression totally DISPLACES happiness ... to the extent we allow it. If you can't feel happy, but can act happy ... then you at least have that. ACTING happy is much better than not acting happy.

I agree with wandering vet. Also acting happy saves you from the complications of depression and anxiety. The obsessive thoughts about what you have done or said, and how it will be taken. Don't do anything dangerous and there won't be any thoughts.

I think depressive episodes are something that take their own time and if you can distract your mood when you are in them it will help you get through them.

I worry about acting happy for one reason: if we act happy too much of the time then we may abandon the hope of actually being happy. Then one day we realize that we have never been happy, we are just such a good actor that we have everybody fooled.

Except fro our self.

This is an interesting discussion. I agree that acting happy is better than acting sad, but I think acting happy could also lead to loneliness and feeling like a phony because you may be bottling everything inside.

I once read that smiling will make you feel better. I tried it once and I actually did feel better after putting a smile on my face. If only I could smile more often!

I've felt like I have to pretend to be happy to at least initiate things. I am able to talk about my down feelings on here and with my closest friends. I try to not be too negative too often, but everyone needs help from time to time.

Even recently, I discovered that I can't join the military because of my depression... That's what I am down about right now. I'm going to apply to a different branch while hiding it and see how far I get, lol.