Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Several months back I tried to kill myself-twice. Didnt even come close which still kinda ticks me off. Rest assured, I am not suicidal anymore. Of course, I didnt go around discussing this with everyone.
There were maybe a handful of people that I did tell. I told them many months after the fact. I didnt tell them to get attention or pity. I didnt tell them for shock value. I told each of them for a specific reason that was also specific to when I told each of them.
The odd part? With the exception of a couple of them, the majority of the ones I told had no reaction at all. No change in facial expression. No questions of how or why or when, etc. No reaction at all. Zip. Nada.
I found and still find that strange. Some of them are people I care a great deal about and they care about me. People I've known for years. Their eyes kinda glazed over and they changed the subject. I dont know if they didnt believe me, if they didnt care, or what. It's been months since then and it still kind of bothers me.
Again, I didnt make the attempts or tell the people in an effort to get attention or pity. Just so damned strange.
There were maybe a handful of people that I did tell. I told them many months after the fact. I didnt tell them to get attention or pity. I didnt tell them for shock value. I told each of them for a specific reason that was also specific to when I told each of them.
The odd part? With the exception of a couple of them, the majority of the ones I told had no reaction at all. No change in facial expression. No questions of how or why or when, etc. No reaction at all. Zip. Nada.
I found and still find that strange. Some of them are people I care a great deal about and they care about me. People I've known for years. Their eyes kinda glazed over and they changed the subject. I dont know if they didnt believe me, if they didnt care, or what. It's been months since then and it still kind of bothers me.
Again, I didnt make the attempts or tell the people in an effort to get attention or pity. Just so damned strange.
I have had similar experiences sharing about suicide or other problems. Not long ago I told someone of my suicide attempts and she said, "Well, everyone has something. My mother is hard to get along with." Looking back, maybe she was trying to cheer me up, but I was very hurt in the moment. I don't tell everyone about this, but looking back I'm trying to remember if anyone ever said, "I'm sorry you were so unhappy, I'm glad you're still alive." Maybe some people care but don;t know how to express it. But it may also be that some people aren't very sensitive. I think I am generally am better off sharing these stories in supportive settings such as this website or with my therapist and psychiatrist.
I would never claim to be a good suicide prevention counselor, but after being on this forum for several years I would hope that if a good friend told me they attempted suicide that I would have something constructive to say.
I am sorry you did not get the support you were looking for.
I did this myself and my own father said I was doing a "Hollywood" as he liked to call it - to get attention! Read cry for help, desperate, miserable, isolated, alone, not to get attention.
Deep down most people do care. However, some simply do not relate to depression since they have never experienced it themselves. Some are not good with emotions so they pretend to not care. Others may have had painful experiences themselves and blank this out because they feel they cannot cope. A small percentage just don't care, but they are minute by comparison to most.
Sometimes, an experience such as this reaches down into our very core and changes how we see life, our world, and the lives of others. Some it makes better people of who have genuine compassion for others. You realise what a gift life is and how precious every day is. And some never learn at all. The only thing that matters? Who are you today and how can you use it to help others who have walked that dark path into the abyss? Hugs to you sweetheart, glad you are still with us. Warm Regards, G
My sister said she was not surprised and there was a time in her life when she had tried. THAT shocked me because I never would have thought that.
At any rate, it's all good. Making extra sure to stay on my meds always and not mess around with them.
If you had told me that I would have said, Well I am really glad youdids not do it and am glad you are feeling better now. If you ever want to talk about it just let me know."