Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
PLEASE READ THIS, MAYBE IT WILL HELP
Dear Future Self,
It’s you, but I am pretty sure you already know that. I’m not going ask you when we get boobs, because we already have those, and I’m not going to ask you if I ever get that guy I’m currently pining over, because I know I probably won’t. I don’t want to know the surprises in life, or the awful things that are going to happen. Yet, there are questions I want you to remember asking your future self. “When do I get happy?” I’ve asked myself that question every day. You have been asking yourself that question every day. I have questions to ask you. You have questions to ask you. I want you to answer these questions for yourself and for me.
When? I ask myself that question every goddamn day. You ask yourself that question every goddamn day. When do I get happy? Because right now it seems like that will never happen. When do things change for me? I need a change for the better in my life. When do I find what works for me? When do I stop looking at a bottle pills and debate whether or not I should take all of them?! When is a rope simply a rope and not a device to end it with? When is my smile going to be real? When will my past not pain me? When will my first love stop letting my name slip off his tongue? When do I stop crying? When does my depression not define me?
My depression defines me, my sexual abuser defines me, my ex boyfriend defines me, my razor defines me, my scars defines me, my pain defines me, but when do I define me! When do I leave my past behind me, because if you’re reading this than, I haven’t killed myself, you haven’t killed yourself, but right now that’s the only way I feel I can leave my past. You know that feeling. When do I find someone to wipe my tears? When do I find someone who loves the body I hate? I have been sad for eight years straight, you have been sad for more. So when does all of this change? For me and for you. You won’t be able to answer all of these questions for me, and in ten odd years you can probably write another page of questions to ask YOUR future self. I know that there are millions of other people who wrote this suicide letter, that’s not going to be me, because if it is my future self will never answer these questions for me. I love you! Hopefully you love me too. Because one thing I want to say to my younger self is this: You are going to struggle, you are going to cry, but no matter what you are still going to grow into me, and answer these questions for yourself.
Signed by, M
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Can you identify these rom-coms from just a screenshot from the middle of the films? This is a multiple choice quiz so even if you're not entirely sure you can always take a guess and at least have a 25% chance of getting it right anyway, so why not have a go?! https://www.buzzfeed.com/alysaurus688/rom-com-screenshot-trivia-quiz
Thank you for the letter, I love reading it every now and then. It makes me sad at times, but then I smile as I realize how far we've come together. Yes, *together*; I'm not someone else, I'm still very much you. Call it a "better" you if you will, but I like to think of it as just a "more you" you. It wasn't always an easy ride and it wasn't always straigh. But while you've suffered for 8 years by now, I can promise you that after these 10-odd years you won't have suffered for 18 =)
The rope will be just a rope, the razor just a razor. I can't remember the last time we used a rope for anything, though. The razor we do use to shave some times ;-)
Oh, and on that note, you'll meet more than one who'll love that body and the mind inside it as they deserve to be loved, don't you worry about that! I do have to confess I'm a little envious of your body, though, but what can I do... Well I actually think I still look really nice after these 10 years ;-)! But enough about me and back to you: just right now I do want you to love that body yourself. Eat well but have fun; do some sport but don't worry too much; take care of our skin; just stay healthy, I and my own Future Self certainly thank you for that!
Now, I know that you love me, and I really like to hear you say it, but I hope you'll understand it when I say I love you more. I wish I could go back to you now and hug you, tell you that I understand you, fully, that people weren't lying to us when they told us it would get better and brighter. It did get brighter, it still does a little almost every day! And no, nobody but you and I can define us now, nobody!
We didn't choose our past. Some times I still need to remind myself of this, but I'm really thankful to you for acknowledging it when you were becoming me.
We can choose our future, though, and I would love you to choose me, just like I would choose to be you one million times over. You are beautiful and we love you from here in the future. Oops, I've spilled enough already, we promised not to reveal any surprises ;-)
So come be me, my dear Younger Self, I will be waiting with a warm blanket and your letter in my hand next to my heart. We will read it, we will cry a little, but then we will smile and set course together for our next Future Self. I can see her smiling at us from there =)