I understand how you feel and I just want you to know you're not alone. I often wish I would just die or be killed. Why do people have to die that are happy...why can't I go instead....sound familiar? I hope you're still around to talk to.

Cleric,
I know how you feel; believe me. My therapy hasn't been working, but guess what - I found a new therapist and am trying again. I am on my 3rd different med after the previous 2 didn't do anything; the previous one made me even more suicidal...
I had a loaded gun pointed at my head and almost pulled the trigger on two occasions, but I thought about my son. I gave my gun to the police this past Monday night. I'm terrified of the future but I can only focus on today at the moment; one step at a time, one moment at a time. I strongly encourage you to do the same. It's a tough road we're all on but somehow you get thru - one step at a time. I'm betting you to keep trying...stay with us!

Dear Cleric,

Nothing is as final as death. No second chances. No hope.

I watched a documentary not long ago about people who had tried to kill themselves in a very violent way. (Not going to give the details)
The majority of people who tried to die this way succeeded.
There were only a few who survived.
When they were well again, they told their stories in tears.......
How GRATEFUL they were to be alive..................
How each breath they took was sweet.............

Please...................Don't do this.

Im with Mal on this one and God knows I have been through this so many times that I cant even count.. This disease is awful and a struggle everyday. I wish for you some contentment and peace in your life.. Bless you

I've seen those days and lived to see better ones. Try to hang in there, think of something, anything, you can look forward to. Find someone you can go to for support. And if you can afford one, and there's one in your area, seek the help of a naturopath. It changed my life and I will recommend it to everyone so long as I continue to live. Good luck.

I feel exactly as you do I think. In terms of trying everything I've done meds, groups, etc. The groups really are a drag because I'm feeling so lost in my own thinking and self. It's really hard to see the light out of it. Blind faith is even more difficult but like others say it does end. I'm with you, I'm hurting, it's ok to be where we are at regardless of what other people think or react.

Please don't quit. Life really is worth living and I believe that no matter how bad your suffering is right now, that the day will come when you will be glad that you're still here. Just do what you can. You don't have to impress anyone or answer to other peoples expectations of you. Just be you----that's more than good enough. You're not alone. We are all here for you and know what you are going through. Blessings and peace.

can i join you? in soo much pain i want it to end . all other options have been tried to a point i cant do them any longer. dr. given up on me as well. what's the point in being alive? only to be in deep pain.

Hi Cleric,
I also know how you feel. Feels like every time I bring myself up, something else happens and I am there right where you are. what stops me is that I keep thinking, what if death is worse? What if it is a place MUCH worse than here. So I stop myself and hope God or whatever is there will finally let me be happy. Will stop punishing me. I also feel that people who are bad, selfish, mean don't suffer and have a much better life than me. They are always well. Where is justice no where.

I wish I could offer you words of wisdom and comfort, unfotunately, I am feeling the same too. I just don't know what else to do.