Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
My depression stems from my toxic family. My mother is a narcissist who would often tell me how ugly I was and would yell at me for little things such my appearance or how I didn't behave like a woman should behave(cleaning dishes for my brothers and my father, cleaning the entire bathroom, where make up, jewelry and a lot of perfume. My has depression and enables my mother's behavior. He always complains and whines everyday about bills and how my brother, my mother and I waste money. He often projects his anger and frustrations onto my brothers, which almost always results in a argument. Though both my parents have caused me great stress it is my mother who is the worse. Should would blame everyone but herself for her own problems. She blamed me and twin brother for ruining her teeth when she gave birth to us because she kept vomiting and that wore down her teeth. My mom has laughed at me twice for crying and has called me a 'cry baby' ever since I was in the grade school. I'm 23 now and graduated this year with BA in Psychology but even after the ceremony, my mother made me upset when she kept calling me 'stupid' for not wanting to take pictures outside like the other graduates. I'm jobless and I don't have a car; also, I'm not friends with anyone in my immediate neighborhood (a lot of bad students throughout K-12) because of my social anxiety and low self-esteem. No close friends from college, either. I'm just stuck at home. I'm confused about what I want to do with myself because my mother forced to think that I should become a doctor since childhood. When I said that I wanted to pursue the arts she screamed and yelled at me, so did my father. I switched to psychology but that wasn't my real passion. Now I'm here today with a psychology degree that is useless. I'm crying because I don't have any the talk to me. Things that interest me the most are fine art, music, dancing, fitness, health and nutrition, animation, alternative medicine, and running a business, however, my parents have never encouraged me to purse them. Even when in grade school my mother would take the drawings I hanged up on the refrigerator and would throw it in the garbage. Currently everyday, and I mean everyday, my parents will ask me if I've found a job yet. Whenever, I say 'no' just complain loudly about why I didn't do this that and the other. Whenever I get turned down for a job they find a way to blame me. I'm coming the unfortunate realization that I really don't have a mom or a dad, just myself. I can't even talk to my brothers because they just internalize it as 'normal' behavior; they can also come and go as they please because they have jobs, cars and friends. All I have is my niece, who is just a toddler, however, I fear I might be losing her. My parents have custody over her since my twin brother want to take care of her but would rather hangout with his friends and play video games. I try be a positive role model for but my family, mainly my parent, have been verbally and emotionally abusing her. She even get physically abuse (open-palm spanks to the legs and back) my parents. She comes to me when she's upset and would tell these things, how here grandparents were mad and she would say that she was 'bad'. My niece even called my mom was 'a monster' and would say "scary". I'm just so confused in life right now. I feel that my depression is getting worse every year. I fear that if I don't get help soon, some bad is going to happen to me. I'm scared. Please what should I do?
Please do ask a healthcare professional for help. Plus feel free to talk or vent here anytime.
This may not be any of my business, but I think maybe you need to stop giving them so much power in your life.
Sincerely,
Torrance.
You sound incredibly intelligent and determined. Find something you love.
As far as your niece, I would speak up and defend her if it ever happens in front of you. Also, keep doing what you're doing and tell her your parents are wrong, be her support person, praise and love her as much as you can.
I would say call child protective services too, but it could do more damage than good unless the physical abuse continues and you can get evidence of marks. You could call and ask, but I believe they have to investigate every report and thus, they could play "parents of the year" and afterwards blame your niece. Its a hard situation. a friend reported my dad for physical abuse, they set an appointment, came, parents appeared "perfect" made up an excuse and afterwards I was taunted and name called for being their "poor little abused victim". It was aweful.
On the other hand, about 8 years ago my dad's girlfriends daughter told me my dad had taken a sharp object and stabbed her 12 year old brother with it, as well as beating her mom all the time. I didn't hesitate, called immediately, anonymously and the children were removed.
I say ALWAYS report child abuse, as it can escalate. Just know that if there is no proof that child needs more support and love and things can get worse.
Sorry for the long opinion. I just hate seeing children abused. I'm sorry you are still under your parents control. Please take care of yourself and your niece. You don't need to be abused anymore!
@eshaw Child Protective Services have came twice to my home. The first time was when I was in grade school. I teacher suspected that I experienced abuse at home because I cried a lot at school. I'm was also unaware of the people at my school or what I was being taught; prefered to being alone either close by the window so I can daydream or spend my time alone at recess on the swings until recess was over. I didn't wan't to speak with the teachers either because they were also mean to me. In kindergarden, I was yelled at by my teacher for crying. I was very scared. I learned on that day not to trust anyone with my emotions.
Unfortunately, Child services couldn't find any evidence tuat show that I was being emotional abused because I was mainly receiving emotional and verbal abuse, not so much physical abuse.
The second time was when I talked to my social worker at my university about my parents and how they were mistreating my niece. I probably said this before but my niece looks a lot like me because she is my twin brother's daughter. The fact that I see her being emotionally, verbally and sometimes physically abuse(open-palm smacks on the on the leg or arm) was re-opening old wounds from my past. i was unaware that my social worker called child services when I answered the door. I felt like a scared child again. They left when they couldn't find and injuries on my niece. My mom automatically accussed me for calling them. She taunted me before for being a psychology because she thinks I want to be "one of those social workers who steals children away from other parents". Using my knowledge on child development, which I highly recommend anyone wants to become a parent should read, I try to explain what behaviors are normal within infants and why numerous reports have shown why corporal punishment works in the long run. She told me to 'shut up' and said 'you don't know what you are talking about'.
Both of my parents grew up in Haiti, where it was common place for children to be physically abuse by their parent, their teachers and principles. My mom said that one punishment would to sit on your knees in the hot sun and hold to heavy rocks in each hand. I can honest say that after meeting most of my relatives, they are miserble. My parents have a lot of siblings; two of my uncles on my father's side had some type of mental disorder while my dad has depression, is always worried about money, and gets angry over little things. My mom and her six sisters all had the same problem, they were not happy with their marriages. Haitian women often do a lot of house work for their husbands. My parents never say anything nice to each other and they always do it right in front of me.
Sorry it this response was too long but I also wanted to give a little more context. Right now, I feel little bit better. I'm still going to continue to pursue art on my free time. As I said before I hope to be self-employed one day. I want to eventually live somewhere in New York where fine art is still appreciated and make friends that share my interests. Again, thank you all for the replys! Take care!