Numb to everything or numb to your depression? Are you hoping to get back with him? 6 + years is long enough for your guy to understand you suffer from depression, right? He won't see you or talk to you, but he will text you? Maybe he's feeling like if he gives you time the two of you can reconcile again. Numbness can be a symptom of depression I suppose. I'm not a specialist, but I do suffer from severe depression. Sometimes I wonder how my husband copes with it, and sometimes I wonder if he's suffering with his own depression. Is this a stubborn response on his part or even on your part? Maybe try dealing with your depression before worrying about talking or seeing your boyfriend - ex-boyfriend? Say he did want to see you face to face, how much would it really change your relationship if you're still questioning his intentions?
I'm certainly not trying to tell you what to do, I'm just trying to give you an outsiders point of view. Also I'm wishing that you'll have a good day. Please don't overthink this one.

None of the above
He's just lonely. Tell him if he's dumped you the polite thing to do would be to eff of and make new friends. You are not his mother. You don't have to take this.

As to this 'wait it out malarkey, wait what out? The guy's given you the kick. It's over.

He's given you the kick but now he's lonely so he's turning to the only friend he has who is always there for him. Explain that if he needs you this much in his life he is very odd to dump you, so he needs to make up his mind once and for all. In or out but get off the fence. Your affections are not just some plaything. You are alive too.

D

He loves you but is falling out of love with you. He wants to be with you but he knows it will never work out. People have hard times without mental illness, but in a relationship it is simply not worth it. As I type on this site while my wife act like the queen at work away from us, only to come home and be a zombie.

Robin, my depression isn't always present. It reared it's head in 2009-2010 just before I met him and was gone months before I met him. It started rearing it's head again roughly 1 year ago. It started as a nuisance and has gotten worse. He has felt like the right person since shortly after we started dating and he had always felt the same as me. I am a step away from starting with a new therapist, but was waiting for my insurance to be reinstated. Now it is and I just have to wait 48 hours to contact the facility. I had been seeing someone last year, but they didn't believe in helping patients through their issues.

Bridgie, I'm not telling him to f off. That's not how I treat people. I do love him and we have a child.

For reference people, he didn't end it this time. We don't have a place to live, so he had been sleeping in his car for a month. I pre-emotively ended us because I assumed he would after spending some time thinking. Due to the depression I had started questioning my love for him months earlier. Now I know that I still love him and am in love with him.
He's NOT lonely. It's called love. There were other circumstances outside his life that made him leave twice. The first time my son's father was influencing my son and so my son made his life hell. He made my life hell for years. The second time we didn't have a place to live. It's not as cut and dry as you people are assuming. It's called being dealt a bad deck.

Randa76, I'm glad you replied. My depression isn't always present either. Oh, but when it is even I have to brace myself. I've been married to my husband for 10 yrs and together for 20. We've recently gone through a bad, bad time. I moved out. It was horrible. I'm glad you replied, I understand life isn't always black and white. I understand loving someone, that's for sure. It's rough hearing people say I have to learn to love myself before I can love anyone else. So black and white. You're going through some really hard times right now. I think that's why I'm prompted to say take care of yourself. Things will work out the way that they always do. I'm glad you're seeing a new therapist, just never give up on hope. Take care.

You never mentioned a child so I would have said the same to kick him to the curb! That he's just trying to keep you at arms length if he gets board,

But understanding the dynamics of a broken relationship with a child involved, I would say he cares about you so he wants to keep a connection going, no break up is easy and everyone deals with them differently
You will get to a point at some stage when maybe you have had enough of the back and forth behaviour or maybe you won't

Why don't you both try couples counselling together also see a doctor or natrapath to try to help ease the depression/numbness

Xxx
Hope this helped

If you kicked him out then it is your job to unkick him out. I have never before has a post by someone complaining about their guy not coming back to them when they were the one who did the dumping. Perhaps you have played your last card. Numb doesn't always mean depression. It often means they've taken as much shit as they are going to.

Good luck with your life op. I shall go now.

I had the first instinct as prettybig but you left out having a child together. Your child must be so confused by all of this. Don't take this as an attack. I am just putting myself in your child's shoes and that child must be thinking, where's dad? Where does he live? Are he and mom together? Is this my fault? Because kids will do that and think that, even if it's obvious to us that it isn't your child's fault. This is a hairy mess. I'll give you my honest opinion, respectfully because I want to help, not hurt.

You said, "The first time my son's father was influencing my son and so my son made his life hell. He made my life hell for years." Your child is presumably pretty young if you are together for 6 and half years so I guarantee your son is suffering the brunt of this, especially given what you said.

Personally, I'd cut off any romantic anything (text, email, facebook, in person etc) and say we need to fix this because we have a child.

I'm very happy to hear that you got all that insurance craziness worked out. It can get overwhelming so you're doing the right thing. Depression seriously messes with relationships. Counseling as a family and individually is really needed I think. It's been 6 and half years and you haven't successfully resolved any of these issues on your own. I'm glad you found a therapist and i hope this person is a better therapist. Ask about family therapy options as well when you get there.

No romance. I know, I'm a broken record. That's because I know we humans need repetition to get it to sink in. Your romantic texts and mind games are messing with you and your child and the father is seriously in need of a smack upside the head for this crap because it's completely unacceptable, especially if you are the mother of his child. But you also need to put the stop sign up and stop it immediately when he even hints at it.

I'm not a therapist but please take these suggestions to heart. Your child is really hurting because of this. He's job number 1 for both of you. I don't know you but I'm going on a basic assumption that you want what's best for all of you including your son. You can't be romantically together now because you repeat the same patterns. Now is not the time for a romantic relationship with him. Now is the time for family therapy and for him to get proper housing and to seriously consider his son's needs. A therapist gives an objective perspective and it can significantly help if you follow the therapist's counsel.

Even though you feel like he's the right guy and your child's father, he may not be. He definitely isn't now. Neither of you should be pursuing romance with anyone until this is on the right track again. I am trying to be kind and direct because it kills me that your kid is mixed up in this. He needs parents that put him first. Romance between you, if it is the cards, is just a bad idea right now. Whether it remains that way depends on what you two decide to do.

I really wish you luck and I hope you take this to heart knowing that I would like you to come back on here in a year and say - Hi remember me? Wel,l we are doing really well. Father has a home either with you or somewhere else. Your child is healthy emotionally and knows what's going on, knows mom and dad love him and you are on the way or already are a family again. That's a happy ending and I want it for you and your family.

@Randa76 – Hi, I understand how you feel. I’ve dealt with depression after I had my first born. It was on and off for about 5 years. I am glad to read you are seeing a therapist that’s always the best option. I really hope you get better emotionally. You need to be healthy for your son and also if you want to continue to be in a healthy relationship with his father. Please know someone out here is praying for you.