Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Not that we have nothing else to offer ... there is unquestionably a lot of support offered here.
Besides this group, there is a very popular group for Bipolar issues. You would be welcome there as well as here. You can join as many groups as you wish, and should find support in any of them..
I disagree with most of the self criticism in your post. There is no happiness with low self esteem. All your stuff is fixable/treatable. Take that as a positive attitude and with proper help, pull yourself out of 'that place'. You do not belong there.