Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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RiverOfTears 01/02/2013

I feel like I always feel pain and fear. It doesnt seem to ever end. I was on an SSRI for years. It helped take the edge off things. I thought maybe I could find a better medicine. I tried four different SSRIs in a year and with the exception of one having no effect whatsoever, they all produced bad side effects. I am now trying to get back on the SSRI I was on to begin with. But I know what will only help take the edgo off things. I feel so scared and alone and in so much pain. The only time I am really at peace is when I am asleep and can forget. I do have a couple of good moments. Some nights I feel okay. But every single morning when I wake up the depression is back. It never seems to go away. I see a counselor once a week and am okay when I am talking but when I am left alone with my thoughts things get really bad. Often I wish I were dead which my shrink and counselor know about. I have said I would never act on those thoughts. Too much of a coward. I am all alone.

deleted_user 01/02/2013

I feel just the same as you every morning. I have fear about everything. My depression has taken most of who I am as well. Im half if not less of the person I used to be. I fought it for many years, resisted. Then one day I said fuck it. I am who I am. I just faced the fear, and that is where a lot of my depression came from.

I hope one day you find that peace we all want and be able to face the fear better. Hang in there, lord knows I am, and just fight that is all we can do.

heretic 01/02/2013

It can take a long time and lots of trial and errors to find the meds that work for you. It's hell being a guinea pig but in the end, when you do find the right meds it's so worth it. My doc was changing my meds every month for two years before I found the combo that works. I say keep trying, don't give up. Peace

etherize 01/02/2013

Mornings are horrible for me, too.

I hope the SSRI you're getting back on will help. Even if it just takes the edge off, that's better than nothing.

Do you work? Do you have any activities that require mental focus, that you can do to keep your thoughts at bay? What about a creative activity?

{{{{hugs}}}}}

RiverOfTears 01/02/2013

Yes I am at work but am alone for several hours every morning. I have no one to talk to and when I am not working I usually stay home. I feel very isolated. I am getting panic attacks which I never had before and talked to my shrink yesterday on the phone and he said I have to stay with the drug and work through this.

deleted_user 01/02/2013

Yea, waking up is usually to a huge amount of anxiety and despair, it's horrible. I have no clue, I hate this life, good luck with you.

deleted_user 01/02/2013

Do you see a therapist or PDoc, as well as taking your SSRI? If not, therapy just might be helpful to add. Also, if the SSRI isn't doing enough, sometimes, docs will add a mood stablizer such as Abilify.
I hope that the new year brings you some peace.

RiverOfTears 01/02/2013

Yes I see a counselor once a week. I see a psychiatrist once a month for my meds. I am now back on the SSRI that I was on for years. I guess there is no magic medicine that will cure me.

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