Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Recently made a major mistake with my medication: I stopped taking it. Now, I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for over half of my life, and you'd think that by now I would know better. Stopping doesn't help. But once again, I felt better and did the stupid thing. I kept putting off making an appointment with a new doctor and kept forgetting to take everything. But I was okay, you know? I really, really thought that I could handle it and that finding a doctor wasn't a priority. Now I can't remember the last time that I took my medication properly, and I only have two or three doses left. I have an appointment soon, but I'm so incredibly afraid of what will happen. How will they change my medication? Can they give me anything to keep me from having panic attacks while I wait for everything to balance out in my system? Can I handle everything until then? My anxiety is far more problematic than my depression, for once, but it is absolutely terrifying. I'm frequently confused and always fidgety. I always feel like I'm on the edge of a panic attack, or ready to burst into tears. I've been saying and doing things and then unable to remember exactly what happened or why, and I've started flinching and freaking out at the tiniest things - a hair tickling my neck or a sudden noise. I'm frustrated and angry. I'm frightened.
I would be able to cope a little better if it was just me, but I have a baby and boyfriend. My son is tiny, just five months old tomorrow. His father has been incredibly supportive and understanding, but I'm sure he can't stand me right now. I absolutely know that he's afraid that I'll hurt or frighten our son - maybe not on purpose, but the possibility still exists for him. My anxiety is so severe right now that knowing this has absolutely shattered me and I barely feel capable of holding my baby. I'm constantly asking myself if I'm safe to be around him. Am I going to shout if he starts screaming and I can't fix it? Will I put him down too roughly when he accidentally whacks me in the face?
I feel like the worst parent in the world. I promised myself when I found out that I was pregnant that I would stay on my medication, see a therapist, and do whatever it took to be a good mother. I love my baby boy fiercely and I would do anything for him. How could I have let myself make such a huge mistake? Should I even be around him?
Is anyone else dealing with depression/anxiety while raising a child? Please, give me some advice. Any advice or encouragement is appreciated.
go into the meeting with this: the script you were given was a good one, so good you thought you were cured and went off the pills. So you need to go back onto that same script, but this time manage your failures regarding taking the pills.
You have to be consistent on psychoactive meds. You can't go on and off. Ask yourself how long the half-life of the pill is. That's how long you've got between doses. So I was able to forget a wellbutrin, because that has a long half life, and it would even out in my system; but I couldn't forget two.
Are you on the pill? If you are, you should have a regular dose you are taking of one thing, and be able to take the other at the same time.
Maybe you can get your pills put in those pocket packs for old people so you know what day you are up to and if you've taken your meds already that day or not. Whatever - but whatever you do, you have to get back to regularity.
You've trained your brain out of producing some necessary chemicals: so if you don't ingest the reuptake inhibitor you run out of that chemical and your brain can't work. Symptoms are:
loss of memory
inability to concentrate
can't finish sentences
panic attacks
paranoia
confusion
insomnia
suicidal iterations.
... I could go on. :p Doctor. Pills. Get stable. Then you can go forward from there. xx