Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I've been a wreck for the past week or so with overwhelming emotions, thoughts and just not myself.. my friend who was dating my ex is now getting married to them which honestly I'm happy for both of them I am. But it's not that, it happened last weekend on Easter Sunday where she had texted me asking if I would be home for her to drop off an invitation I was like okay thats fine.. Needless to say, she shows up with her fiance (my ex) without telling me he was coming with her so that brought alot of past thoughts.. we dated in high school for about a year than he broke it off a few days after grad.. anyways, we tried to stay friends it was kinda okay but not the greatest.. So him and my best friend (we arent best friends anymore just kinda friends) started hanging out alot and he would always text her saying when he would be in town.. so they would hangout.. I get it that he was my ex and it would be akward to message me ask if I wanted to hangout too but honestly it hurt me alot when they did that, because it felt like they wanted to keep it low key as possible and didnt want me to be included.. there were times where he would get pissed off at me and mad when I asked him why he never told me he was coming and he would always say oh I post when I'm coming down and I dont have to tell anyone where or what I'm doing.. but he did with my friend which didnt make any sense. Things than just started getting worse, my best friend started to do the same thing where they would get mad at me as well when I would ask why she wouldnt message me and she would always take his side saying they would always text me or ask me to hang out but they never did! Not even once, and it got to the point where I didnt want to do this anymore and feel this hurt in my heart.. so I deleted them from my phone and Fb.. my friend and I kinda made up now but we arent close at all anymore and dont talk hardly ever.. anyways, as for my ex I haven't seen or talked to him in about 6 or 7 years so when he showed up with her it was so awkward, I almost had a panic attack in front of them.. I could feel my throat closing and my body shaking.. like i felt i was being suffocated by a tornado.. I just kept thinking I want to go back inside and I want to leave.. it was a very uncomfortable situation and I just can't imagine how it would be if I did go their wedding... especially when I have such bad anxiety, I wouldn't know anyone and I would be by myself! Is it bad to say no? Idk what to do, I feel like if I say no she would be upset but if I say yes it would be a disaster and I dont need that happening especially on their day.. have any of you been in this situation before?? I really dont know what to do...
Sad to be said, but your friend created and triggered your feelings of bad anxiety, and this scene could have been avoided had your friend included the ex would be visiting with her. I see that you deserve an apology, at the least, and this should come from your girlfriend.
Really, it appears that she was pulling a "show you" moment. And I don't really know what type of friendship you have with her; yet friends don't do dynamic acts that cause others to feel unsafe emotionally. Friends express love and care through what they show you and what they say. So if she can say that she is sorry for hurting you and putting you on display in front of the ex, then perhaps she meant no real harm, and in the future you may each have a clear understanding of what her intentions are. Move carefully and reflect on what you expect that's comfortable for your own feelings.
Much love & hugs!
If you are not as close as before, she was most likely smirking you; she wanted your heart to pound, and that's not friendly behavior. I sort of think that she is still trying to figure if she likes the ex, and she brings him around you to see if he's interesting enough to decide to wed. Cat and mouse type of behavior. Girls did this type of stuff when I was a teenager. Gosh.
I really hope the best for you and this gal :-) Just raise your eyebrow, tap her on the shoulder and say, "Just what was you up to bringing dude around?" And I'd wag a finger in her face too, lol! She's got it coming to her! Just ignore anything else she suggest with the ex. I imagine it's the green-eyed monster that she's looking for in you, which adds more interest in her mind for the ex, just not worth it at the risk of hurting you. She knows this.
Enjoy your time for the rest of the day!