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Offered a chance to change my life...

wolfdreamer2013
wolfdreamer2013
Hi I was talking to my sistern law who lives in Texas last night she has offered me a place to live because she knew I have been wanting a fresh start and being closer to my nephews.My nephews her two sons are moving into a dorm in Oklahoma to go to college.My sister n law will have her home entirely to herself after the begining of Sept.I feel this move would be a good move for me.I will be breaking my lease in order to move and also will be upsetting my family by moving in with my sister n law.There is alot of hurt feelings toward my sister n law with my family.They do not trust her and feel it would be toxic for me to be near her let alone living with her.I am actually one of the family members who has had alot of hurt feelings toward my sister n law cause she was married to my brother who took his own life seven years ago.There was alot we will never know and I am sure alot I do not want to know.I feel my family blames my sister n law for what happen with my brother.And I did at first.But I have realized its not for me to blame anyone and if she did have something to do with it that is between her and God.My sister n law is not in good health for the young age of 43.Sh also has been through alot she not only loss my brother she also has loss both parents and her uncle all with in the last 7 yrs.So I am planning on going for this and figure I am never ever going to know if I can improve my life and move to the state I have wanted to move to for a long time.Unless I take a chance.Our plan is to just take the basic stuff for now and put the rest in storage to come back for later.I feel this move will improve my life and give me more oppurtunites.Thank you to who ever takes the time to respond.We are planning on moving on October 3rd if all goes as planned.If you would please give me your input and if you pray keep me in your prayers or send positive thoughts. Thank you.Hugs.Jerrie
Canaan
Canaan
Texas has a good low cost of living in general. It does sound like there is a fair share of some bad feelings involved with family. If you think you can keep all that settled down, it would be a good chance to see if you like it. Sounds like a pretty good setup. Is it near a large city?
mginmn
mginmn
I hope it works out and you and your sister in law can do some healing. You may however want to have a Plan B just in case it does not work out. I do not know if your sister in law is misunderstood or what my family used to call a troublemaker. I do however know that suicide is a complicated tragedy, and is unlikely to be the "fault" of one person. So good for you for giving her a chance.
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
I agree with Mginmn, suicide is a desperate act that is born of a very VERY complex situation. Unless your sister in law physically set things up there is no way she can be at fault.

Suicide is very hard for many relatives and friends to accept, and as such they have a HUGE need to find something or somebody to blame. Suicide is not a logical well thought out conclusion, and neither is blaming the spouse of the person.

Best wishes and gentle hugs
TroJanThunder
TroJanThunder
If you try living with your SIL can you come back if it does not work out? Maybe instead of breaking your lease you could go for a visit before you make your decision.

I would make it long enough to give the waters a fair test. Say around a week to ten days.

The rest of the family may indeed be trying to put blame on your SIL, but usually when there is that much smoke there is a bit of fire somewhere.

Sometimes a change of scenery can bring forth a refreshing new phase in life!

But sometimes you realize you have just brought all of your old "stuff" with you.
SingYourGutsOut
SingYourGutsOut
I think its a good idea to go down there for a couple of weeks, just to see how it goes. Are you going alone
Just take baby steps. It will be a honeymoon phase at first and then reality will set in.
Have you talked to her about expenses, sharing of chores, boundaries, etc?
Its good that she has the house to herself - more room for the two of you to have your own space.
Sending good wishes that you will know if this is right for you.
I don't think you can blame anyone for someone else committing suicide - maybe now is your chance to get your questions answered about your brother.
I bet you are excited!
PinterestFan
PinterestFan
Moving a long distance is a challenge, and the expense is unbelievable. Also, it's easier to get along with someone when they're
thousands of miles away, as opposed to living under their roof.

I hope it goes great and you have no regrets.
Desigol1979
Desigol1979
(((Wolf)))

Hope your Sister-in-Law gets good advice from you, fer HER sake as well as yours.
PinterestFan
PinterestFan
W O L F - Witless one line follow up.

===============MYOB======================
wolfdreamer2013
wolfdreamer2013
Hi everyone thanks for your post.I have lived with my sil off and on alot in my past.She works two jobs to try and keep her bills paid so I do not think I will be seeing much of her once I moved in.I also have my partner who is moving with me and even though my partner and I have had our ups and downs she is a good support for me.And alot of our issues has been cause of stress and money issues.My sil has been considered an isssue and a concern for my family because she and my brother were having marital problems at the time he died.And we also found out she had a affair and my brother found out before he took his life.I agree with suicide there is no one you can say was the cause.I feel that was not my brother who did that mentally I feel he was allready gone.I feel he was unable to control the demons inside him so he ended his life.I feel this will be a good move for me and my partner and I realize there is always issues that will come up but if we needed to we could get our own place we will not be stuck if things were to get bad.So we are going for it.And we can only hope for the best and have a open mind when moving in with my sil.Which I do one thing I have come to know with losing my brother it is not going to help me to try and blame anyone I need to move on and just try to find peace and happiness.Everyone take care.Hugs.Jerrie Oh the area is Dallas/Forthworth.