Depression Support Group
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I posted this to my FB News Feed...and got several replies from friends and family...but now I want to post it here and see what the folks on DS have to say about it...so here goes:
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FEELING ALONE...
I know it's a sensitive subject...but I have a question for those of you that have lost your Mom's...
Do you forget that she's gone? ...
For about the first 9 months since my Mom passed away, I guess her passing was always on my mind...but then last month, I started doing things and going through things and cleaning out her house and stuff...
Then today, I was working in yard cutting the grass and stuff and trying to repair a little plumbing problem that I'm having and all of a sudden, it hit me like a load of bricks...SHE"S NOT HERE...I can't go show her what I just did or explain what I am going to do next...like I used to do because she's not here anymore...
Then I'm like, damn...how the hell do you forget that your Mom is not here anymore!?
This isn't the first time in that last month that this has happened; but every time it happens I feel like what kind of daughter am I...how can I forget that my Mother is gone? ...and then THAT's when all those bad feelings come rushing back...like it was just yesterday that she passed away...
Well?......
================
FEELING ALONE...
I know it's a sensitive subject...but I have a question for those of you that have lost your Mom's...
Do you forget that she's gone? ...
For about the first 9 months since my Mom passed away, I guess her passing was always on my mind...but then last month, I started doing things and going through things and cleaning out her house and stuff...
Then today, I was working in yard cutting the grass and stuff and trying to repair a little plumbing problem that I'm having and all of a sudden, it hit me like a load of bricks...SHE"S NOT HERE...I can't go show her what I just did or explain what I am going to do next...like I used to do because she's not here anymore...
Then I'm like, damn...how the hell do you forget that your Mom is not here anymore!?
This isn't the first time in that last month that this has happened; but every time it happens I feel like what kind of daughter am I...how can I forget that my Mother is gone? ...and then THAT's when all those bad feelings come rushing back...like it was just yesterday that she passed away...
Well?......
I've lost both my parents, and I guess I feel the way about my dad that you feel about your mom. He and I used to talk about projects all the time. In the last year or so of his life he backed away from talking about them; I suspect that he was easing into dementia and the subjects were something he could not understand the way he used to, and that hurt him so.
I think it is a progression of emotions, I have come to look at the "final stage or emotion" of dealing with loss is when you can experience something (like a project) and think to your self "Mom would have liked the way I solved that" or "Mom would have loved to have been involved in that".
Things like that.
It is not about forgetting, it is about being at peace with reality.
Gentle hugs.
Remembering she's gone is the bad thing.
I think getting through time right now without being sick with misery is my top priority and has been for a number of years. If there are times you can forget you have lost her - that's good. That's you having days that don't contain grief.
If she's still anywhere she knows you love her. She lost her mother too, so she knows how you are feeling, and why.