Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Numb

Hawke
Hawke

I just feel so numb and light headed all of the time. I hate myself so much and everything about me. I hate that I’m overweight, and that I’m attracted to women and can’t just be normal, i hate that I’m lame and boring and a coward. I tend to use drugs to block out the thoughts and wall myself off in this little fantasy world. I’m also just sick of time just passing and passing and I just feel hopeless and lost. I’m so alone and none of my friends will hang out with me anymore. I just wanna od on drugs sometimes so at least I can die in a euphoric state with a false sense of happiness. I just feel this longing for something, like something is constantly missing in my life and I don’t know how to fill this void.

RJW
RJW
Thank you for sharing. Depression does take it's toll. Self-loathing and the thoughts that others hate you too is difficult to handle. I hear those voices often. It is part of Depression's lies. Most of our help comes in understanding ourselves. Drugs mask that. Can't really see ourselves under that mask, thus the pain remains. Knowing you is knowing how to find your hope. It means looking through the self-loathing to the amazing person that you are. The right medication can help, especially if you have suicidal thoughts. A trained Therapist or Counselor can help. No shame in seeking help. Know that there are those that care about you that might not even know you, but definitely feel your suffering. I find my hope in my faith and that has carried me, therefore you are in my prayers. I hope this was of any help. My apologies if not. Thank you.
AllyS
AllyS
I am sorry this has been such a hard time for you. Depression can effect every part of you. I will echo @RJW regarding having a therapist that you can talk to. Therapy can be helpful in training your mind to capture the negative thinking that can so easily entangle us.
With that said, I pray that you will keep searching for what is missing. I know that when I found the truth of who God is- Creator, Counselor, Comforter- I found my identity. He made me for a purpose and He loves me. I encourage you to seek Him. Call out to Him. He will answer you. I encourage you to read the book of John in the Bible. It's a great place to start in learning about who God is and who we are because of Him. I pray you will search. Having a relationship with Him is what fills us and gives us purpose. Seek Him.
Praying for you!