Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Not well... again

Lucy1109
Lucy1109

The situation remains the same, one step forward, two back.


I was feeling better when I woke up. I even could put some make up on, something that I wasnt doing in a long time. I went to theraphy and came to work and then it started. The loneliness, the anger, the feeling of doing everything and resulting in nothing, I'm so over of not feeling anything.


I message my only friend and she invited me to see she rehearsing with her band tonight. I know it would be good for me. See people. Going out. But I cant, today I'm missing him so much, (maybe because I talked about him on therapy) I just wanna cry. I know I'm better without him, now I can pick up the pieces and try again, but I miss him, I miss what we had, and try again with who? Nobody cares, no matter how much I try. And now I feel another failure, coz I had a chance, but I didnt use it, because I dont have strength today for facing the world.


I'm focusing in my work, learning a french, taking my medication, going on therapy, praticing mindfullness, forcing myself to see me as someone that worth, that he lost me, not I lost him, and everything else. But it seems that no matter how much effort I put on, I cant forget him, I cant forget the empthyness he putted inside me. I dont feel sad, I dont feel happy, I just want to see my life go away. 

Noah127
Noah127
I know that it doesnt help much, but I just want you to know that ive been there and if you even want to talk to me im there for you.
sharaninmd
sharaninmd
When you were in therapy,, something probably triggered memories of your ex. I read in one of your previous post that you left your former boyfriend because he was toxic and I think you made the best decision. When a person is suffering with depression, they need to get rid of all toxic people in their life. You want and need to be around positive people, not negative people. I am sure it is extra hard because you were together for such a long time. You can make a new beginning, Get out as much as possible and do things you like to do. You will become healthier with time.
Lucy1109
Lucy1109
Thank you both for your kind words. I have some offers from my friend to get out, but when it happen, I simply dont find any strength on myself to do that. It pass on my mind that wont worthy the effort, and that my bed is a better option. In the other hand I feel a failure because I have wasted another chance to try. It doesnt make any sense
nightingale77
nightingale77
Hey @Lucy1109, sorry that you are going through some unbearable moments right now. I have been through something similar so I know how you feel. It's the feeling that no matter how hard you tried, how committed you are in getting well and forget about how this person treated you, the longing feeling doesn't seem to go away and in fact, it increases as time goes. I can understand. But you know what? There is good reason why he is your ex and you have agreed that you are better off without him.

Sometimes a loss can be quite daunting and scary. But if you magnify your losses, you are going to live in your losses forever. I'm glad you are trying very hard to do many things to distract you from running thoughts and you are in therapy now. Don't rush yourself through the healing process. The healing might not happen so fast if you have several issues to deal with. But I wanna encourage you, it will. RIght now the burden might seem very unbearable but it takes baby steps each day to unload bit by bit. Please stay on track on what you are doing right now. You are doing wonderful though it might not seem to you tt's the case. Hang in there ok? Praying for you! God Bless!