Depression Support Group
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Hi,
I was wondering if you all could help me to shed some light on this. I have a problem feeling like ppl dont' care. Some of it might be grounded in reality, some of it might not.
At any rate, I went to get my nails done this weekend, and the woman who was taking care of me more or less came out and said that my family back east didn't care about me because when I go back to visit, that I stay in a hotel instead of their home. She said she would not go back because of this, because I didn't stay w/ them and to be done w/them. I've gone back like 4 times in 5 years, and it's been fine.
At first it was awkward, but then I was grateful that they were honest about not wanting houseguests, and honesty is important, so we had a good time visiting regardless. It doesn't bother me and I'm not offended. I don't regret going.
But I was extremely upset by what she said. Maybe because I was afraid she was correct? Well, she is the lady who does my nails, not God. So why should I put stock in her opinion. Maybe because I am not confident in the relationship or myself or them? Perhaps.
orion
I was wondering if you all could help me to shed some light on this. I have a problem feeling like ppl dont' care. Some of it might be grounded in reality, some of it might not.
At any rate, I went to get my nails done this weekend, and the woman who was taking care of me more or less came out and said that my family back east didn't care about me because when I go back to visit, that I stay in a hotel instead of their home. She said she would not go back because of this, because I didn't stay w/ them and to be done w/them. I've gone back like 4 times in 5 years, and it's been fine.
At first it was awkward, but then I was grateful that they were honest about not wanting houseguests, and honesty is important, so we had a good time visiting regardless. It doesn't bother me and I'm not offended. I don't regret going.
But I was extremely upset by what she said. Maybe because I was afraid she was correct? Well, she is the lady who does my nails, not God. So why should I put stock in her opinion. Maybe because I am not confident in the relationship or myself or them? Perhaps.
orion
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A tree outside where I live is dying, seemingly from dog urine----with the bully in my building going out his way to not only have his dog urinate there but to have the dog urinate on the fence and sign I bought to try save the tree----and then slide the sign under my apt door.Turns out that was a TRIGGER for me----bullying and humialtion right out of high school. I didn't realize it at the...
I say, go with your intial response. 'I don't regret going'. You know your family, and your situation far better than the lady that does your nails, as the thing about other people's opinions is...sometimes they're wrong! :p
Its is hard to say without knowing more about your situation.
I am having an issue with my in laws visiting. I want them to visit I adore them.
Its just our place is very small and with all the clutter its hard to have enough space for them. I want them to feel comfortable. But we have 4 adults in our mobile home and not even a real bed in the spare room.
In my case it is just space consideration not my lack of love for them.
If it doesn't bother you and it makes the visit less stressed, I think its fine.
I say get another nail lady! It the current one asks why you have stopped coming, just let her (or her boss) know that you do not appreciate her rude comments about your personal life!
As for staying in a hotel, do what works best for you!
if somebody is inviting you to visit them it's one thing, but if you are the one who is always suggesting you visit them, the family you visit ARE giving you a hint.
back in november, when a car hit the building where i live, my landlord had my cats and me stay at their place---i even ate meals with them, till the many weeks i could return to my apt.
I rarely visit my family. One time in the last decade to be exact. That one time I stayed for a week and I stayed in a hotel too.
I like what PepperMan said too. I know w few people like that. They try to pry into everything about you. This is why I don't freely give information or talk much about personal details...Unless I get to know that person well enough to know how their thought process works.
dont think it comes with a lot of psychological training. I would be more
comfortable asking an expert like my bartender.