Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
So, after finding out that my dh had answered a men seeking men ad on craigslist, and having to not talk about it with anyone, I am not doing well with my depression. I took myself off of my medication and was doing really well until this bomb shell was dropped in my lap. He said that he was just curious what would make a man do that, and that he will never do it again. I just feel like to add that to an already shaky marriage, is almost too much to deal with. He also says that if he has to leave, he will be forced to move out of state and then he won't see our boys. Just a little guilt!!
I am not happy, but don't have the courage to do anything. I am afraid of making the wrong decission and giving up like I did on my first marriage. I don't want to be a two time looser a marriage and have to raise my boys on my own. I also don't want to risk loosing the boys because his mother thinks that her boys do no wrong and will do anything to keep the grandkids away from their mothers. It has happened before and she doesn't like me too much.
I am not happy, but don't have the courage to do anything. I am afraid of making the wrong decission and giving up like I did on my first marriage. I don't want to be a two time looser a marriage and have to raise my boys on my own. I also don't want to risk loosing the boys because his mother thinks that her boys do no wrong and will do anything to keep the grandkids away from their mothers. It has happened before and she doesn't like me too much.
What is causing your marriage to be 'shaky?" Do you think marriage counseling might help? It could be good for you even if he refuses to go with you. You could try to do things together that recapture what brought you together in the first place, or bring more "play" into the bedroom and other aspects of your life together.
Sometimes the best thing to do when you're not sure what to do and are afraid of doing the wrong thing is to sit back and do nothing for a little while. Let your shock and anger settle down and think over what is best for you and your boys. It would probably be good for you to see your doctor and go back on your medicine, at least until you get through this. Depression can mess up our ability to think clearly and to make good decisions. It would be a shame if depression caused you to do something you regretted later.
{{{{hugs}}}}
My meds were making me suicidal and I was cutting myself. That is why I am off of them.
Thank you for your comments and suggestions. I have been sitting back for 10 years, not wanting to make the wrong decission.
I still think seeing a therapist is a good idea. The therapist can help you look at your marriage, your choices, the factors that have kept you from making a decision, as well as your depression.
I stayed in my marriage longer than I probably should have because I believe marriage is forever and I intended to honor my promise. But now my children tell me that one of the things they remember most about their father and me was the fighting and the abuse. Also, my husband was never unfaithful in real life or on the Internet.
There may be medication that could help some of your symptoms without causing the side effects you experienced before.
I wish you the best. I know how hard it is to struggle with an unhappy situation, when you fear that leaving that situation will just lead to an even worse situation.
(((HUGS)))
I asked if he would talk to someone and he won't. He is too embarrased I guess or just doesn't want to deal with it.
Your decision should not be based on what he might do or what he threatens to do. Is he your boys' father? What does he say would force him to move out of state? A man who threatens to not see the children anymore, and who lets you be afraid of what his mother would try to do.... I don't want to say anything more. If you decide to end your marriage, I definitely think you should do it with the guidance of both a counselor and an attorney. I know they are expensive, but you can't afford NOT to have them.
I really feel for you. My divorce was one of the worst things to ever happen to me, even though I knew the marriage was unhealthy. Is there abuse in your marriage?
He is the father of my boys.
We have been to counceling before for other issues, but he doesn't open up and talk when we do go. I think that he goes just to make me stop complaining or because it is my issues