So I am on unemployment benefits, which helps, but I have been volunteering in the meantime which makes me feel much better. I started doing the design work which was making me really happy, and then when I went to submit it this morning, I get a message saying, "You really don't have to do this after all. Thanks anyway." I was so upset and irritated as I had gone through all of this work to put it together. I designed the workflows and screens and went to submit them, and he tells me after giving me the directions/packet etc. and parameters of the project that he just doesn't need it now. I had already completed a fair amount of it.
It really is a waste of my time because I was doing it with the hope of finishing my project and putting it on my portfolio. Time spent on a project that I can't put on my resume or use is a massive waste-really.
I'm so angry.
I've been having a lot of trouble with my physical health lately and it is making me... so depressed. I haven't been able to eat much (stomach ulcers) and have NO energy. And I haven't been sleeping... nightmares have been at an all time high.... and to top it ALL off, because of my stomach I have been getting sick a lot which my doctor said means my meds are probably 1/4 effective at best right...
over the last couple of days ive been being told that a physcologist and doctor is the only way for me to heal and help myself, which at first didnt affect me as much but now i seriously am having a panic attack and have absolutley no hope for myself that i am going to heal, i cant see myself healing or being happy and i cant imagine my life getting any better, it truly really feels like it is...