Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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mherr25 10/01/2019

Hello everyone. I visited this site several years ago at my lowest when I felt like I had no one to talk to. I've been okay for awhile, kind of keeping my head just above the surface, but I can feel myself sinking again. I just needed an outlet.

That is not to say I'm at my worst. I dont want to take my life or anything of the sort, I'm just tired. Exhausted. I work 50 hours a week, am in school, just had my first baby in April, and am just trying to function. My baby boy is amazing, healthy, happy, and sleeps well throughout the night. I have a good job, a good family. I am happy with where I'm at in my life. But I'm just not happy with myself.

I feel like a failure. A bad mother, a bad wife. My son is with his grandparents during the day Monday thru Friday (6-3) so we can work and with us after. But he likes to go to bed around 7pm. I feel like I don't spend enough time with him. I have to work. We have a house payment, bills, student loans.. Im terrified that I'm not enough for my son. My husband and I used to watch TV shows and movies before in the evening but with the baby and classes it's difficult. I do go to bed a bit earlier because I'm tired and wake up at 4, so I feel guilty for that. I don't have time to clean as much, cook as much.. I still have a bit of the pregnancy weight. I feel as if I'm not good enough for him either.

I just feel like I'm never enough. Im trying so hard, doing what I'm able, but I feel like I could always do more. I love my family with all my heart but what if there is someone who can take better care of them?

This is a different type of depression than I'm used to. I just feel so weighed down, so hopeless. And I'm so much more frightened because I have more to lose.

Scaredandafraid 10/01/2019

You have severe low self esteem. You work your ass off and do everything you can for the betterment of your family. I think most of us hit a point where we think we should be doing more or not enough. Is you're boy happy when you spend the little time with him? Then that's what matters. Have your expressed your doubts and fears to your husband? Maybe express those and get his reactions before assuming you are enough. We all would love to be able to do it all but it's just not reasonable to assume we can. We try as hard as we can and love with everything we have. If your husband thinks differently that is him not you. You need to be happy with yourself and love with everything you can. As time goes on you will see that your son loves you wholly because the time he has with you is with love. Never think you aren't enough. You are more than enough

honeypeas 10/02/2019

You are certainly not a bad mom and definitely not a failure! You just had your first baby. That in itself a full time job! And a life changer. Add to that a 50 hour work week plus school/housework/husband.. You're probably just trying to do to much. You're understandably tired! Maybe you need to cut back on your classes for awhile. You may also want to talk to your doctor about doing bloodwork. Low Vitamin B/Iron is common after having a baby and might cause depression. It sounds like you have a lot of family support. If not get some, Hopefully your hubby is helping out with the baby and chores. If not talk to him about it. Arrange regular date nights for the two of you. And definitely find time to just be still. Take a mental health day. Play hooky from work to just cuddle up with your son. Give Grandma a break too! You're a new Mom!. Go easy on yourself. Stop beating yourself up. I had three children and I say from experience, what you're feeling is actually quite normal. Give yourself a break. There's no such thing as a super mom! You'll be fine.

caring2018 10/02/2019

I am so glad you reached out here and shared. Boy can I relate to those feelings. Remember to tell yourself they are lies. You are an amazing mom. You have so much on your plate right now. This is just a season in your life. It won't always been this busy or hectic. As moms and wives we think we have to be superwoman, but there is no such thing. You are doing an awesome job and you need to remind yourself of this daily. Don't listen to those false thoughts that come into your head.

God put you in the family your in. There is no other person who can be that mother to your son or wife to your husband. You are just where you need to be and you are doing an awesome job. We can't be super mom, so change that expectation for yourself. You can only do some many things. Make sure you are giving yourself a break and taking time for you self-care. You are not good for anyone if you are not taking care of yourself first. Nourish your whole body not just with food, but with "you" time - a bath, massage, mani-pedi. Whatever will help you feel refreshed and renewed.

Here are two great exercises that help me keep my thoughts in check and remind myself I am great, I can do this, and I am special. One is deep conscious breathing. I call it the 557 breathing. Breath in through your nose for the count of 5 breathing in all the good things you want in life, hold for count of 5 and exhaling through your mouth for the count of 7 letting go of any thoughts that are negatively affecting you. Do this sequence 10 times or for about 2 min. You will be amazed at how relaxed and at peace you feel after the breathing sequence.

The other one is called Emotional Freedom Tapping. This method helps incorporate positive self-talk with acupressure points. Here is a link to show you the points. https://bit.ly/2m1cegn

Find something encouraging to say to yourself like I am great a mom and wife, I am self-assured, I am special, I have value - then tap on the points. You do this on both sides of the body. You will be amazed at how self-empowered you feel after this exercise. Doing these in replacement to those false thoughts helps establish new healthy thoughts and habits. I will be praying for you. Remember you are an amazing wife, mom, and woman. God bless! Hugs!

mherr25 10/07/2019

Thank you guys for your kind words! I feel a bit better today.

My husband helps with the baby and chores, and our parents watch him while we work do I do have a good support system. But I haven't spoken to anyone about how I feel. I'm the type of person that tries to take on alot so others don't have to and I feel like if I say something they will think I'm not strong enough to handle everything. I've always had to be strong and I don't know how not to be. Or at least pretend to be.

caring2018 10/09/2019

Everyone needs help from time to time in life. We aren't designed to do things on our own. Sounds like you have a good support system, let them help. You are strong, but being strong also means excepting help when we need it. Remember to take time for your needs, that is important to be good for your family. Find the things that bring you pleasure and do them at least once a week or as often as you feel you need them. I will continue to be praying for you. God Bless!

patti22 10/12/2019

Almost all mothers, and most good ones...worry like crazy that they'll be good enough for their kids.

***Mine are now 17 and 19....I still worry sometimes, although not nearly so much.***

Truth is...that kids are better at cutting through the, umm, BS than any other human beings on this Earth. They WILL know if you care. They WILL know if you're thinking of them.

That's not to say that they're going to acknowlege that for about....18 years yet.

But there WILL come a day, when the kid that "didn't hear you" call 832 times to take the garbage out, will admit that he heard when you told your best friend how much you are proud of him. Turns out most kids aren't deaf...wonder of wonders.

Big hugs, from a mom who's been there, Patti

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