i am having a hard time for the last while i gess the last 9 years and this last year has been a little worse ..................and right now i am having a harder time i want to cry and yet i am not doing the thingis i know i need to do to gett better like get moving get some exersize and get into life and it is afecting my husband ih sayes it isent but i know better ....................i am not sure if it is because i am on a higher dose of meds that just makes me tired more but when i tried to go dowen one pill i was not doing well at all i had a drink tonight and that ofcorse doesent help ....................i schould be in bed but instead i am in here maby if it talk i will feel better .....................who knowes................it could be a combination of things i have been having a realy bad bout with migrains since the fall that will wear on a person ..................but i realy need to get on with living ..............this is getting me no ware fast.................................i had a visit tonight when me and my husband were watching tv....................it was from his mom she pased last march i smeled her perfum all around me but not around her son my husband and i felt her presents so i think she was there for me to give me a push in the right direction to give me some strength .................my mom pased one year ago next month on the same day and my husbands mom............................it has brought a lot of memories back to me ...............when my husbands mom pased i was the only one with her ................and about 15 minuits after she pased she came to me i could see her she had already pased into heaven and was so beautiful and powerfull in that beautie in gods light .....................when my husband came in to the hospital room he was upset that he had missed her passing but his mother raped her self around him and i told him that and she held him for about 20 minuits he couldent see her and he said he couldent feel her but the moment she left him he let her had go and than i told him she had gone ........................i havent thought of that for a while ..............it was such a mix of emotions once heaven has touched you you can never forget and you just want to be there you want to feel that again ................so i know i have to get better and maby that is why she came ...to remind me why i needed to get better for her son and to one day get to heaven ..................................tomoro is a new day ....................god bless you all