Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
In the past year my depression has become terrible after I lost my 2 best friends and had a bad reunion with a toxic ex boyfriend.
I'd moved to a new city and was quite lonely. I'd made a couple of friends but nobody i was close with. At this time, my ex boyfriend got in contact asking to me up for drinks. I've recently been told my previous relationship with him was abusive after seeking help from this forum. Anyway, it ended up with him making it out to be interested, me still having feelings for him and rushing into giving him sex, and him eventually discarding me which left me in a mess.
I was also best friends with two girls for around 8 years and I noticed i sometimes felt left out and ignored towards the "break up" . I thought nothing of until around my birthday where we'd made plans to go out. I'd rushed home to get ready and rang them to arrange a time to meet. One said bluntly "can't make it, sorry". I was upset that she'd not got in touch sooner and the other friend offered to take me out. It was too late at this point so I thanked her and left it. However, she went out and coincidentally saw the other friend already out, in the place we were actually supposed to be going. They then took pictures and posted them on facebook whilst i was home alone on my birthday. I heard nothing from that friend after that.
I'd made plans with the other friends for new years eve after telling her i really didn't want to be alone because i was still feeling bad about the ex boyfriend scenario. We were close and we did everything together. However on the day she text me asking if i wanted to go shopping for dresses. I said yes and asked where we should go. She replied that she'd got tickets to an event with another girl the previous day. She didn't let me know, and when i tried to buy tickets they'd sold out. I told her and she said "try somewhere else, still want to go shopping?" even though i no longer had plans. I'm assuming this is because she can't drive and i'd be giving her a lift. I ended up spending new years alone too. She also coincidetially bumped into the first friend that night and uploaded more pictures. I was heartbroken by this. She contacted me two weeks later like nothing had happened asking if i wanted to come out, i told her i was hurt by what her and the other friend had done and would feel awkward coming out. She replied "be like that then" and continued to act like nothing had happened every month. I thought this was an attempt to make up, so asked her if she wanted to talk. She told me that she was "just being polite and should have known i'd be childish about it, stop making drama where there is none".
I haven't spoken to both of them for 6 months since then. I was devastated by it, along with all the pictures they were uploading whilst i was alone. She also starting talking to my ex boyfriend who she didn't know. I've deleted and blocked them after this but i'm still majorly depressed.
I've been alone for months and have had a few times out with old friends which i've put a lot of effort into arranging but i can't see people initiating plans with me. I've also been trying to keep occupied and have a new job yet i miss having the people i loved. So many songs and places etc trigger me and i feel like i'm being constantly tortured by memories and what i did to deserve being treated badly and suddenly dropped. I don't know why nobody seems to like me. Please any support would help.
I'd moved to a new city and was quite lonely. I'd made a couple of friends but nobody i was close with. At this time, my ex boyfriend got in contact asking to me up for drinks. I've recently been told my previous relationship with him was abusive after seeking help from this forum. Anyway, it ended up with him making it out to be interested, me still having feelings for him and rushing into giving him sex, and him eventually discarding me which left me in a mess.
I was also best friends with two girls for around 8 years and I noticed i sometimes felt left out and ignored towards the "break up" . I thought nothing of until around my birthday where we'd made plans to go out. I'd rushed home to get ready and rang them to arrange a time to meet. One said bluntly "can't make it, sorry". I was upset that she'd not got in touch sooner and the other friend offered to take me out. It was too late at this point so I thanked her and left it. However, she went out and coincidentally saw the other friend already out, in the place we were actually supposed to be going. They then took pictures and posted them on facebook whilst i was home alone on my birthday. I heard nothing from that friend after that.
I'd made plans with the other friends for new years eve after telling her i really didn't want to be alone because i was still feeling bad about the ex boyfriend scenario. We were close and we did everything together. However on the day she text me asking if i wanted to go shopping for dresses. I said yes and asked where we should go. She replied that she'd got tickets to an event with another girl the previous day. She didn't let me know, and when i tried to buy tickets they'd sold out. I told her and she said "try somewhere else, still want to go shopping?" even though i no longer had plans. I'm assuming this is because she can't drive and i'd be giving her a lift. I ended up spending new years alone too. She also coincidetially bumped into the first friend that night and uploaded more pictures. I was heartbroken by this. She contacted me two weeks later like nothing had happened asking if i wanted to come out, i told her i was hurt by what her and the other friend had done and would feel awkward coming out. She replied "be like that then" and continued to act like nothing had happened every month. I thought this was an attempt to make up, so asked her if she wanted to talk. She told me that she was "just being polite and should have known i'd be childish about it, stop making drama where there is none".
I haven't spoken to both of them for 6 months since then. I was devastated by it, along with all the pictures they were uploading whilst i was alone. She also starting talking to my ex boyfriend who she didn't know. I've deleted and blocked them after this but i'm still majorly depressed.
I've been alone for months and have had a few times out with old friends which i've put a lot of effort into arranging but i can't see people initiating plans with me. I've also been trying to keep occupied and have a new job yet i miss having the people i loved. So many songs and places etc trigger me and i feel like i'm being constantly tortured by memories and what i did to deserve being treated badly and suddenly dropped. I don't know why nobody seems to like me. Please any support would help.
I'll keep it that way till somebody proves me otherwise.
ps. I am not dating just socializeing trying to find new friends. I think that I would much rather get to know someone before dating. so this group is great for me.
When things like this happen over and over and nothing better ever seems to come along, the only constant in the equation is US.
And we're the only ones we can change, anyway.
Therapy can be wonderful for this sort of dilemma!!!
Oh, it SO helped me to learn how to pick better people to have in my life!!!
Try not to dwell on the ways in which others mistreated you.
At least counterbalance it by spending just as much time thinking about the kind of people you would like to have in your life.
And when you ARE making new friends, don't just 'blow off' little things they do that you don't like.
That's kind of how we can get involved in an unhealthy relationship!!!
They do something just a little bit thoughtless or rude or hurtful or ignorant and we just excuse it and dismiss it from our mind.
(Because we're 'good' people.)
So we overlook it and that tells the person that they can shit on us.
If you send that message out, oh my!!!! The world is full of people who will rush in to treat you like crap!!!
I know we can't ask for perfection from ourselves or from others.
So there's not really much harm in forgiving a first offense.
But keep your eyes open.
When a relationship comes to a bad end, looking back will almost always reveal a lot of little signs that you didn't pay attention to, starting from very near the beginning.
It hurts like heck to lose those whom we considered to be good friends.
But that's usually our own mistake.
They weren't really our friends, after all.
On the up side, now that you see what they're like, not having them around is a positive.
There's friends out there who will really BE friends and who will like you!!!!
I do hope you'll consider talk therapy if things don't improve!!!
I'm not sure if I could have broken the unhealthy patterns in my choice of friends if I hadn't had it!!
Good luck!!
(((((Hugs)))))
remember hun life happens when you least expect it to. Then ya hold on and enjoy the ride.....
I have just started to learn that it is important to find companionship in yourself before you can look for it in other people. Once you value yourself, and learn to trust your own opinion, you will be able to weed out those true friends from the false ones, and accept people into your life without expectations. It is an ongoing journey, and like I said, I am just setting foot out on it myself. I expect setbacks. Saturday, I felt great, confident. Today, not so much. But at least I have hope that tomorrow may be a good day, and maybe each week will start to bring more good days than bad, but only if I try everyday, not just when I feel like it. When athletes are training for a marathon, they push themselves every day, like it or not, and they get stronger. I think we have to do the same. Even though some days it seems impossible.
There is a crisis hotline available; the counselors can be very helpful, and if you truly feel like you have no one to talk to, it is worth a try, and is totally anonymous. (And you don't have to be on a ledge to call them.) I have called it, even though I was embarassed at first, and it actually did help me, even if it was just enough to get through the night. 800-273-8255