Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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suzyq2173 02/01/2009

ive been having a severe bout of depression and anxiety for over a year now. i was hospitalised a few times and did not work for six months. am at work now on a part time basis. even after all the therapy and meds the underlying problem is still there. there is no point to my life. it dont want my life, it has no hopes and dreams and is boring. i never have any fun and that makes it more depressing. i spend everyday going through the motions pretending im ok while im at work so they dont sack me.i only go because i have to support myself. the fire in me has gone out. and i used to have a raging passionate fire for many things. my main problem is that there is nothing i like doing anymore. all the things i used to like doing now seem like insurmountable problems. even simple things, i used to love shopping, cooking, seeing friends and going out with family. talking on the phone, listening to music, playing the piano, singing. (im a music teacher). i dont like doing these things anymore as they all scare me. i panic if i go to the shops along. putting on a face for friends is so tiring i cant stay long. i come home and cry and shake cause i often push myself too far without realising it at the time. im cant make myself be interested in these things anymore. the only things that give me pleasure are eating and curling up with my cat. that's it. nothing else. how do i get the fire back? i cant go one for the rest of my life in this mind numbing stupor or i will end wanting to hurt myself.i want my life back, i want to have fun, how do i do it? please help.

deleted_user 02/01/2009

What caused you to start feeling this way in the first place?

You will feel better, have hope and trust that this time in your life will pass. Don't give up, ever. Life has too much to offer you, and you have too much to offer right back.

suzyq2173 02/01/2009

a combination of things, my husband leaving me and the consequential loss of most of my belongings including my house, my mum pssed away very suddenly 3 years ago. since then ive been in survival mde just trying to pick up the pieces. ive had to move a lot so dont feel like anywhere is really home. my dad sold the family house 2 years ago. nothing i planned for my life is going to come true and i no longer have any hopes and dreams. theyve all been snatched away from me so now i just exist with nothing to look forward to. i spend everyday fearful of what i might have to cope with. this has been going on for 5 years, howdo i know it will pass?

deleted_user 02/01/2009

you have to believe, no matter what, that things will get better. They have to. You have to believe in yourself, more than anything, that you can and will be happy. Set aside your fears, and do the best you can with what you have. Appreciate everyday the good things you have in your life, big or small. Take more time looking at what can go right, and spend less time concentrating on what can go wrong, I think that will help you a lot.

It might be really really hard to see happiness and hope right now, but now is the time when you have to believe in it the MOST.

deleted_user 02/01/2009

I just had a peek at your profile. It lists that you are on certain drugs that you describe as working/worked. If you are still this depressed then they are not working as I believe they should be. As to the therapy you had, I don't know what the goal was but I think you could do with a little more. Perhaps a different therapist this time. If therapy is not possible then you must do what you can on your own. By that I mean find out as much as you can about your condition (depression, anxiety and a bit of agoraphobia). You will feel more in control if you are better informed. I am glad you have your cat. He is very good for you. Please be clear to your doctor that your feelings for the things you used to enjoy have not returned. If your doctor will not respond then you need a new doctor. I would also ask that you have your thyroid checked out. You have probably had a TSH level done because you were in hospital. There is some disagreement about the proper TSH level. Most women say they feel best when it is around 1 but the test will read as fine if it is around 4. But that may be too high for you. Have you doctors checked you for every other health factor to see if you are ok? You have been struggling for a long time.I don't know how many drugs you have tried but I doubt you have tried them all. I am so sorry your mother cannot be there for you. I know it would help you and I am just so so sorry. I wish there was an auntie or someone who could sit with you. It does get better. You just need to hold on. Demand that you get a new medication. As I said earlier, whatever you are currently taking is not helping you as it should and if you doctor thinks this is acceptable, he is very mistaken. Please reach out here when you need to.

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