So sorry you are feeling this way, it is very familiar to me. Meds and talk therapy help me; do you do either or both of these things? It also sounds like you need to have something in your life to enjoy or look forward to. Do you work? Go to school? Do you have a hobby? Do you have a friend? You might try journaling or writing poetry about how you feel. Or painting or exercise. I'll pray for you.

I know that feeling well, and it is deeply frustrating. I sit there, with all these thoughts and plans of how to make my life better...but then I just keep sitting here, knowing that I need to do something to help myself...it's just so overwhelming...I mean, where the fuck do you start?

I wish I had some actual advice, but please know this, you are not alone in this feeling.

I am so sorry. This is hard. I am hopeful that you said you "want to change" and you should be too. It means that you can feel and that you do hope. Let this be the beginning of something better for yourself. Reach out to a family member or friend and ask for help and support. If you belong to a church or are open to finding one, go and share your burden. Call your doctor and ask about a support group to help you. Do one nice thing for yourself every day. Look in the mirror and tell that person looking back that you love her. You are worth it. You are here and that means you are meant to be here. There is a plan for your life and it is a good plan. Be strong and take small steps to help yourself. It will get better. Reach out. You will be in my prayers.

I know how you feel. I do two things to help with this. I put people around me who remind me of what I want to be and every time I'm with them it gives me a nudge to do better. And every night I star gaze in my backyard. It just helps me keep my mind in the right place. Hope this helps!