Cause there is always hope sweetheart, and we just have to keep holding on, I know it's hard.

thanks invisible. it's always comforting to kow that someone cares...

Because no matter how dark the blackness gets there is always a speck of light that you can focus on, you just have to find the star in the night sky and concentrate on it's light, however faint
Thinking of you xxxx

i keep looking for that speck of light but i still can't find it. just blackness...

you cant see that future sweetie, thats ok, i can, see, its out there, its faint, really really faint, but its there, just a speck, just a tiny little almost invisible dot of hope, but its there, you need to have faith in yourself, you have to let yourself see it, let others help you if you have to but its there, it may be that sometimes you just have to want to see it and its hard, but trust me its there, its there, its there

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.-William Shakespeare

I too am at a point in my life when I wonder why to live another day. Then I try to ask, why not me. Not asking WHY NOT me. but rather why not ME>>>

It can be you. Don't compare your success and failure to others, I had a friend a long time ago, a beautiful house, a wonderful husband, so very pretty. such perfection.

Then one Saturday, no one else showed up to the game. It was just her and I, the smile left and tears poured as her perfectly placed mascara ran. Her husband was having an affair, she was realizing she was addicted to pain killers, the ones that her son was not stealing from her and her beautiful daughter had just gotten an abortion. They had debt up to their ears and didn't know what to do.

I sat there quietly, realizing, behind the perfect manicure, and the beautiful door, was so much saddness. It was then I realized that no one's life is perfect, we all just must try to live each day, and live with ourselves and each other the best we can.
Best of luck, hope this help.

In the end it comes down to just BE. Don't think about the future, the past, don't even think about the present...just BE. You are who you are and you are here for a reason. BE!!

Although this is not my posting, I feel like I am looking in a mirror. I appreciate all the replies as I read them, and felt they were met for me as well. This time in my life is very rough. I am trying to hold on, but some days are tough. Today is a tough day. I have not been to this site in about a month, but I knew today I needed to sign on. Thank you all!

I feel just like you...Just like you...I am not going on with there is a speck of light somewhere in the galacy, I haven't found it...

But I have to tell you that suicide if a final thing, you cannot change your mind tomorrow if you do it today.

I know about meds, they all stink...I take something for my depression that leaves me severly constitpated, and then got to take something for that also....

Sometimes it take a very long time to find the right combination of pills to help you out. I am glad you are on this site.

Counseling is futile in cases...I find most counselors to be idiots, I know more than they do. One counselor get me and another woman the same appointment, I was there first, and she said she had to go out for coffee. She comes back in 15 minutes, says she can only give
me 2 minutes because she had the other person...When I protested, and also said why did you go out for coffee then, and she said, if I can have coffee why cannot she...I told her I was hold a water bottle, not coffee. Then she called me up, about 4 times, later that day to discuss the coffee/water bottle thing. A wierd woman...Most of them are awful.

It takes great strength to find a good counselor.

I, myself would also like to end it now. The pain in my life is awful

But I keep my options open, I won't do it today, tomorrow is another day.

Wish I knew what to tell you. Life isn't fair...And it gets worse and worse.

Prayer doesn't work, don't waste time trying it.

The only think I can think of is to join some support group for depression, call your hospital, they may know of one, or go to allinon, like alcholics annomous, alloniun, isn't just for people who are living with an alcholic...It is an open group.

Depression is awlful ask me that a million times. But tomorrow is another day....

Be safe/be good.

you can e-mail me anytime, at sallyjones000@aol.com

jane put in subject in caps, JANE

Because one day you will feel better. I have been where you are at. I saw no hope at all. It gets better. Keep doing what you are doing. Take the meds, give them time. Read the books, meditate, put yourself on a schedule and keep it.up. For instance, go to bed at the same time, get up at the same time. Shower and get dressed head to toe. Eat right and don't skip meals. Get outside and walk and get some sunshine. It has Vit. D and that is very good for our depression.
Come online and post about how you feel, let us know how you are doing.

I don't have much advice for you, as I am going through the same emotions right now. When I see others who are struggling, my usual reaction is to tell them that no matter the circumstances, no matter how bad it looks, they'll pull through. I believe that no matter what, a person can overcome struggles, and live a happy life.

However, I know what it feels like to think that it's the end. To think that there is nothing left to live for, or nothing to look forward to. And the comment you make about making good choices...I can relate completely. I feel like why does it even matter what choices I make, if I don't even have a shot at a future. Like, if all I do to better myself doesn't help me any, why even try. SO, I'm where you're at. I just don't ever think I will make it out alright. And there are times when there is nothing anyone can say to me that will make me feel differently, although I hate this. It's just my mind is so clouded, so I can't see anything other than negativity.

I believe I need medication, but unfortunately, I'm unable to obtain any at the moment. I'm also very afraid to try them, just because I fear they may not even help me.

I guess I just want to say to you that you're not alone in the way that you feel, and I hope that you continue to hang in there:)