Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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No escape from the depression - please help

Audere
Audere

My body image right now is just making me so depressed.  I gained 18 pounds in 2 weeks in March and was finally diagnosed with a hormonal imbalance last month that triggered this whole thing.  I've been being treated (via a pill) for it for 3 weeks now and have lost about 4 lbs so far.  I struggled with body image issues way before this whole hormonal imbalance issue though.  The only times I am happy is when I am distracted by an activity like hanging out with friends - otherwise the negative thoughts creep back into my mind.  I am generally sad with happy moments - I want to be generally happy with sad moments.  Being consumed by this is killing me.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I've been going to my therapist and she's amazing, but I still get really down like I am now.  My summer internship requires me to sit at a desk for 8 hours/day for 5 days/week, which is terrible for my mind because I can think about my body quite constantly.  I try to think positively about myself, but I can't change the fact that I am not happy about my body.  I know I have so much value beyond physical appearance and that others think I look good, but it doesn't matter for some reason - I just still am so depressed.  I try to do things that make me happy, but I continue to struggle.  I should be able to be alone with my thoughts without getting so so down, but I can't and I feel pathetic.  I make myself physically ill with all the crying and emotional distress I put myself through on a daily basis.  I am so kind and nonjudgmental of others, yet I am so mean to myself and I hate it.  If I was told as a child that this is who I'd grow up to be, I wouldn't have wanted to grow up.  Don't worry - I'm not suicidal.  I'm just extremely distraught.  

sharaninmd
sharaninmd
I am sorry for how much you are struggling with. You are making progress with your weight by having lost four pounds. Weight loss takes time so please allow yourself the time you need. I am happy to hear that you are thinking more positive. People are telling you that you look good which gives you support. Believe what they are telling you and you might start to like your body. I suffer with depression and anxiety which causes me to feel much like you are feeling. I have to stay busy doing things or spending time with people and when I have free time, the negative thoughts come to me too. You have a therapist who you really like. Do you have a psychiatrist who can recommend medication? If you already do, talk to them about making adjustments to your medication? Sometimes it takes different medications and different dosages to find the right one for you. Continue to post on this site and you will meet a lot of new friends who are ready to listen and offer support.
jstar845
jstar845
Hello, I understand that body image is important and this is a problem with many people. It’s tough when one feels this way, but remember that you are not alone. This is also not your fault. I know that you didn’t expect to have a hormonal imbalance, but you can overcome this. I believe if you continue to see your doctor and take the pill this will help you. Ask the doctor questions and do what he/she suggests to get to your desired weight goal. I would continue to pursue activities with friends to clear your head also try meditation, exercise, eating regularly, getting enough sleep, breathing exercises (take deep breathes in and out and count to 10 and repeat). I see that you have a lot to look forward to with your internship. I commend you on your accomplishments. I know that you are a loving and caring person. Please be kind to yourself and work on thinking positive about yourself and do your best and be proud of your results. I would like to recommend; The Samaritans it’s a 24-hour confidential hotline at (212) 673-3000. They are here to help with anything and when you need someone to talk with. We are here for you anytime at this online community.
Audere
Audere
Thank you both so much! I try to remind myself to focus on health, not weight like society has brainwashed me to do. I was actually thinking about getting a genetic panel done to determine the right antidepressant for me because although I do have a psychiatrist, I'm tired of playing the guess and check game. So I am currently not on any psych meds. Majority of my friends and family think I should be on meds tho because the depression is definitely from something chemically off-balanced. Thank you for the Samaritans number, jstar845! I'm trying to learn to accept when I'm depressed even if this means lying down and taking a nap instead of going to the gym. I have to listen to what my body is telling me, even if I do not like it. Self-care is definitely always going to be a work in progress, but it is something I have really been working on for the past year and I am proud of that!