Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I just joined this group, was a member of the teen group but now I'm 22 so that doesn't really work.
I also put up this post on the self-injury support group but right now I am looking for any help or advice I can get.
My life has gone to shit.
For years now I have depended on my father for all financial support. I am not allowed to work because of neurological and psych issues. My dad pays rent, bills, food, you name it he pays. My mother tries to help when she can. I have recently gotten food stamps and am trying for welfare and healthcare through the state to help.
My dad cannot handle me financially any more. I have been a burden for years. I have tried to help out as much as I can. But it's not enough.
And its not just financial like that. My mother and I do not get along and I just cause her emotional pain and grief. Idk why she hasn't just dumped me by now. Same for my dad.
I have psych issues and medical issues and just life.
I babysit these kids every other week when their mom works nights. Now their mother's gf is doing it. I was not warned. I was just told when I asked her when she needed me. Babysitting these kids has been the one thing that has helped me hold it together. I got money to help my dad, and I had something to truly live for. Their mother isn't really a mother, doesn't do much for them at all. I felt I was kind of the rock, I would be there. Now with no warning she doesn't need me anymore. Those kids will not be taken care of correctly. And now I can't even help them. I am a worthless pile of shit. And now, more of a burden again.
I have $20 to my name and my father just gave me that, even though he doesn't have the money to do so. My only way of helping, getting my own money, doing anything but sit on my ass is gone. I can't even do more babysitting. The only reason I was able to do those kids is because 3/4 of them are disabled and my brain runs along the same line. i can't even do one normal kid, too much stress and I may have a psych break or have a seizure. I was able to do the 1 normal out of the 4 because she wasn't normal. She was used to taking care of and helping her siblings and being more grown up then she should be.
My family is in debt. I am a worthless piece of shit that can only sit on her ass and drain my family dry. Everyone complains about me. The few people that care I cannot see any reason that they do... I only think my parents care because they have to or they would look really shitty in front of everyone else, not helping their disabled daughter.
I just shouldn't be here anymore. There is no point. I have no point. I can't even take care of myself. There is no reason for me to be here, and while I am here I am causing issue after issue. Driving me to doctors appts is a huge burden on people, and now its made worse. The one person that could help with that is now focused on my cousin. He deserves it more than me, I am glad she is with him. He is my cousin who is 11 and just had a tumor removed from his brain. Now he needs chemo and radiation. At least he may get back to normal. But now I'm more of a burden for my grandmother because she feels bad that she isn't driving me to appts and helping my family with that. She is feeling like shit because she is split between 2 sick grandchildren. Just another burden on another person.
All I do is cause misery and issues for everyone. I'm not even good enough to care about myself. Only reason I am sitting here typing this and not dead is because I know people do care... but those who care I just cause worse and worse issues and they shouldn't be caring about me.
I should just end it, I want to end it. I don't know what to do because either way I am hurting people. I stay I continue to be a burden, hurting people, draining them of money, causing issues and hurt. I go and I hurt them all emotionally, possibly angering them because they will think if I was going to do this I should have done it sooner and saved them the money and issues I have caused.
I want to leave, but Idk which is worse. Someone please help me.
I haven't had this hard of a time not cutting in 6 years. My hands are shaking for a blade. Hard to type. Idk if I can hold back... I... idk... someone please help me
I also put up this post on the self-injury support group but right now I am looking for any help or advice I can get.
My life has gone to shit.
For years now I have depended on my father for all financial support. I am not allowed to work because of neurological and psych issues. My dad pays rent, bills, food, you name it he pays. My mother tries to help when she can. I have recently gotten food stamps and am trying for welfare and healthcare through the state to help.
My dad cannot handle me financially any more. I have been a burden for years. I have tried to help out as much as I can. But it's not enough.
And its not just financial like that. My mother and I do not get along and I just cause her emotional pain and grief. Idk why she hasn't just dumped me by now. Same for my dad.
I have psych issues and medical issues and just life.
I babysit these kids every other week when their mom works nights. Now their mother's gf is doing it. I was not warned. I was just told when I asked her when she needed me. Babysitting these kids has been the one thing that has helped me hold it together. I got money to help my dad, and I had something to truly live for. Their mother isn't really a mother, doesn't do much for them at all. I felt I was kind of the rock, I would be there. Now with no warning she doesn't need me anymore. Those kids will not be taken care of correctly. And now I can't even help them. I am a worthless pile of shit. And now, more of a burden again.
I have $20 to my name and my father just gave me that, even though he doesn't have the money to do so. My only way of helping, getting my own money, doing anything but sit on my ass is gone. I can't even do more babysitting. The only reason I was able to do those kids is because 3/4 of them are disabled and my brain runs along the same line. i can't even do one normal kid, too much stress and I may have a psych break or have a seizure. I was able to do the 1 normal out of the 4 because she wasn't normal. She was used to taking care of and helping her siblings and being more grown up then she should be.
My family is in debt. I am a worthless piece of shit that can only sit on her ass and drain my family dry. Everyone complains about me. The few people that care I cannot see any reason that they do... I only think my parents care because they have to or they would look really shitty in front of everyone else, not helping their disabled daughter.
I just shouldn't be here anymore. There is no point. I have no point. I can't even take care of myself. There is no reason for me to be here, and while I am here I am causing issue after issue. Driving me to doctors appts is a huge burden on people, and now its made worse. The one person that could help with that is now focused on my cousin. He deserves it more than me, I am glad she is with him. He is my cousin who is 11 and just had a tumor removed from his brain. Now he needs chemo and radiation. At least he may get back to normal. But now I'm more of a burden for my grandmother because she feels bad that she isn't driving me to appts and helping my family with that. She is feeling like shit because she is split between 2 sick grandchildren. Just another burden on another person.
All I do is cause misery and issues for everyone. I'm not even good enough to care about myself. Only reason I am sitting here typing this and not dead is because I know people do care... but those who care I just cause worse and worse issues and they shouldn't be caring about me.
I should just end it, I want to end it. I don't know what to do because either way I am hurting people. I stay I continue to be a burden, hurting people, draining them of money, causing issues and hurt. I go and I hurt them all emotionally, possibly angering them because they will think if I was going to do this I should have done it sooner and saved them the money and issues I have caused.
I want to leave, but Idk which is worse. Someone please help me.
I haven't had this hard of a time not cutting in 6 years. My hands are shaking for a blade. Hard to type. Idk if I can hold back... I... idk... someone please help me
Life is made artificially stressful and difficult, often times for those who can handle it the least. Do not compound this by being hard on yourself. Making it six years without cutting is quite an accomplishment. You should be really proud of yourself.
It seems like taking care of others helps you feel better and to feel a sense of purpose. Why not try donating your time to a charity or two? This way, you can help people on your terms.
Anyway, take it easy on yourself. This world is artificially hard. Get plenty of rest; it helps in keeping a positive mood.
Gentle (((hugs)))