Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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ellabella311 02/03/2017

hello everyone

For 15 years I've been quiet , ive never spoke any word of this to absolutely anyone , well after 15 years of self harming, I think I'm starting to want help to stop , so congrats everyone your the first to hear (well read) my confession

Over the 15 years it has slowly increased with my self harm ; from scratching , to scissors , to a steak knife , and now within the last couple months I've taken apart my razors for blades

that discovery has been super addicting. I can't go anywhere now without the blade, I relay on that safety that I have it even though I don't use it, and I now cut on my leg instead of my arm. That terrifies me even more because I think before I cut my arm to get people to notice (which nobody did) , and now since it's my leg she people cannot notice.

I love to drink also , and not to the point of black out drunk but I love to have couple glasses of wine before bed (23 so I am legal). I'm afraid that I'm addicted or that I need it with the idea of self harm. But at the same time I don't think I'm addicted and I cut more sober then drunk anyways. I don't get super drunk when I drink every night , and I can go some nights without drinking. For example it's been three nights since I drank and I'm fine , even though I can't wait to go to a hockey game tonight because there will be beer. So maybe I'm over the idea of being reliant on alcohol to feel better , maybe it's now I just really enjoy wine and beer , is that okay? This whole alcohol thing scares me because I've watched a lot of shows of people being depressed and an alcholic , and I don't want to turn into an alcholic. So maybe since I'm obsessing over it I'm not ? I don't know!!!!! Advice?!?

Also ive never been diagnosed as depressed or having anxiety. Can I call myself that without a medical diagnosis? Or does that make me crazy or stupid or faking symptoms(even though I'm not)

im very self conscious of what people think which is why I ask these questions. I'm so lonely at school I live in a dorm by myself and I spend all my time by myself. Which is why it's hard to talk about this and I don't have anyone to turn to. It would be great if I could develop a nice relationship on here that understand my weirdness lol

kary.aa 02/03/2017

Dont think about those things. Just dont. Congrats on confessing. I had a really bad time too just to even talk about stuff like these and i normally go speechless and thats the end of the conversation. You'll get less pressured to confess the more you do it. If you're still worrying about being addicted to stuff you dont want to, find something else that comforts you. I usually sleep, eat , go boxing class, or get a massage . I also make sure there is some rewinding smells or perfumes in my room. Trust me, it relaxes you, even for a little bit.
ps: Weird, crazy, Insane, I find these traits different and relatable. So high five* *

ellabella311 02/03/2017

But the thing is no one pressures me to confess because I have no one to confess to , it's just very lonely here and everything just stays bottled up inside

soulsearcher83 02/03/2017

If you're in college, there should be a guidance or counseling center on campus. Start there. If they aren't equipped to fully help you, they can put you in touch with the right resources to get properly diagnosed and treated for depression, anxiety, self harm, or possibly addictive behavior. I can't diagnose you. I don't have a degree in anything like that. But you should get an assessment from a qualified physician especially a psychiatrist and then start talking to a therapist about these things. I have had wonderful therapists over the years that have helped me live a better life and one even saved my life in my early 20s .

Debbalina 02/03/2017

I'm so glad you've come here to reach out. Thats your first best step in reaching out. It shows you have some fight in you. Like soulsearcher said, reach out to the counselors on campus. That would be the next logical step. You need some therapy and meds, it sounds like. They can make all the difference for you!

BM123 02/03/2017

I can relate a lot to you. I've only posted here one other time and other than that just come here to read. I have a hard time talking about my problems with anyone, even reaching out here was very hard for me. I have yet to get an actual medical help, but I really hope you can find the strength to.

Justyaaveraggurl 02/04/2017

After 15 years you found the strength and courage to take the first step. The first step is often the hardest but you did it so good for you. Keep taking more steps and you will look back and see that you have taken a huge step. I agree that you should reach out to counselors on campus. There are some online resources that you can look into to also, follow this link http://bit.ly/2jOMtJK. Keep posting and keep taking those small steps.

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